Is there a movie that more intensely divides Star Trek fans than Star Trek: The Motion Picture? To some, it’s a slow, boring, drawn-out film, with interminable special effects sequences, and a crew having weirdly awkward interactions with one another…
“But like its two predecessors, Beyond’s focus on being fun is at the expense of being something meaningful. It’s dumb fun, which more or less sums up the Trek reboot series.”
Part two of a two part ranking of all 12 Star Trek films, from worst to first.
Part one of a two part ranking of all 12 Star Trek films, from worst to first.
“Can we open up Abrams’ Mystery Box and find out why he bothered to bring back [REDACTED] in the first place?”
“Alas, no one knew the Star Trek franchise was about to take a massive dose of stupid pills.”
It’s the debut of a new show, Tom’s Retrophilia, hosted by our own Thomas Stockel! You probably know Tom from the recaps he’s written for the site, mostly of the animated Star Trek series. He makes the jump from written articles to his own video show with this impassioned defense of Star Trek: The Motion Picture!
I love the scene where McCoy tries to charter a flight to the planet. While the guy was always a funny character before, having Spock inhabiting his mind in a way makes him even better.
At this point, I am convinced that J.J. Abrams is the single greatest threat to good filmmaking today. The usual reaction to a statement like that is for people to rush and defend him by pointing out how “not bad” his handful of films are. The repeated use of the phrase “not bad” is really all I need to illustrate my point.
Ursa takes a newbie’s-eye view of the 2009 Star Trek movie, and talks lens flares, Chris Pine, and how this movie relates to Jeremy Brett. No, really. This episode also includes a completely spoiler-free “review” (read: extended impressions session) of Star Trek Into Darkness. Caution: May contain Benedict Cumberbatch.
On the eve of the Star Trek franchise heading into darkness, Dr. O’Boogie looks back at the TNG cast’s final outing Star Trek Nemesis, which somehow became the most reviled entry in the series despite there being a few other Star Trek movies that are at least as dumb. But it’s a shameless ripoff of Wrath of Khan starring an up and coming British actor, and who would possibly want to see that?
“That’s the main difference between Plummer’s villain and F. Murray Abraham in Insurrection. Both characters are essentially just self-centered assholes, but Plummer’s character has a little dignity, class, and style. It also helps that he doesn’t whine like a bitch when things don’t go his way.”
“I don’t know how, but this film has actually managed to make me hate Tuesdays. And running gags. And Alan Ruck.”
“Bill doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with the fan dance, probably because he and Nichelle Nichols are in the same age bracket.”
“I’m really annoyed at how this movie is making me question the competence of every single human being in the universe.”
“It just wouldn’t be a TNG movie without a Data scene that made you wonder why the hell you ever got into Star Trek in the first place.”
For all you who may be new around here: I did not care for the first season of Star Trek: Lower Decks. And what with all the free time we’ve had this past year,...
Previously on Star Trek: Lower Decks: Boimler found out that Mariner was Captain Fletcher’s daughter, a secret that both had kept under lock and key. This brings the show dangerously close to having a...
This week on Star Trek: Lower Decks: Ow, it hurts. Owww, mommy it hurts. Mariner is on a planet with a species of lizard people and a species of rat-like people who are oppressing...
This week’s cold open is a dang hot one! The setting: K’Tuevon Prime. Our four intrepid lower decks ensigns are pushed inside a circular stone dungeon in a creepy tower. Jagged metal barriers retract...
This week’s episode of Star Drek: Lower Blecchs (RIP MAD magazine) is entitled “Much Ado About Boimler”, yet doesn’t actually have much ado about Boimler at all. The cold open features Tendi excitedly showing...
This week on Star Trek: Lower Decks: The show still hasn’t decided whether or not it has a cold open, nor what should go in it. Last week didn’t have one. This week does,...
Our episode gets off to an uninspired start when Ensign Boimler narrates his personal log about an interaction he wasn’t there to see and has no reason to write in his log about. The...
Well, what a pleasant surprise. This episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks got three; count ’em, three laughs out of me. Keep this pace up and we should have a watchable program by like...
Hello, masochists! Time to watch Star Trek: Lower Decks and die a little inside. This series has made a name for itself as that gummy ring left behind in the tub after you give...
In today’s cold open, we trot out a well-worn Star Trek trope of a glowing ball of energy invading the ship, much like the alien that impregnated Troi in the Next Generation episode “The...
Before we’d gotten too far into the fabulous 21st century, it became evident that the kind of television the Star Trek franchise produced wasn’t going to be relevant for very much longer. New technologies...
Last time on Picard with a Vengeance: Picard watched helplessly as the android woman he saved because her enemies were convinced she was going to usher in the apocalypse ushered in the apocalypse. Dick...
Last week on Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Synths But Were Afraid to Ask: Grizzled, past-his-prime starship captain William Adama Jean-Luc Picard, on the run from a group of genocidal zealots, seeks...
Previously on Star Trek Into Oldness: Picard rescued Small Wonder from the Borg Cube, and his heroism inspired Hugh to start a Borg revolution on the cube, which apparently he’d just plain never thought...
Previously on Picard 2: Picarder: Picard showed up on the Borg cube to rescue Soji at the exact same moment that Narek finally got the location of the android home planet out of her...
Previously on Grumpy Old Captains: They finally found Maddox and discovered the location of Soji, but Jurati secretly killed him because of something scary Commodore Oh told her Soji was gonna do. Raffi is...
Previously on Star Trek: The Previous Generation: The Gang pick up Seven of Nine who rescued them from a warlord they encountered while recruiting a Romulan ninja nun to serve as hired muscle while...
Previously on Jean-Luc Picard: An Erotic Life: Picard got attacked by the motorcycle aliens from Under the Skin and had to go on the run in a cherry red space hog piloted by a...
Previously on Star Trek: Picard: A whole lot of not-a-lot happened that probably should have just been wrapped into an extra-long pilot. Picard is caught up in the midst of a conspiracy of an...
Previously on Star Trek: Picard: Romulus is blown up, the Romulan people are scattered, and rather than celebrate the effective end of hostilities with its oldest enemy, the Federation is less chill than ever....
Star Trek may take place in the future, but like all science fiction, it’s really about the present. The original Star Trek was suffused with Kennedyan optimism and a very ’60s faith in the...
The run-up to Star Trek: Picard officially kicks into high gear with “Children of Mars”, a new Short Trek directly tying in to the events of the series I just mentioned. The verdict: less...
“Ephraim and Dot” is one of two animated Short Treks that premiered last Thursday, along with “The Girl Who Made the Stars”. But unlike that other short, “Ephraim and Dot” has a strong connection...
Previously in the Star Trek franchise: On October 12, 1974, the Star Trek Saturday morning cartoon aired its final episode, and (save for a proposed idea for a post-Nemesis animated web series) this would...
And now, the last of the Captain Pike-era Short Treks, “Ask Not”. At around nine minutes, this is the shortest Short Trek so far, and one of the most inconsequential. It’s built around a...
As I suspected at the end of my previous Short Trek recap, “The Trouble with Edward”, in addition to being the latest Star Trek tribble episode, is indeed a flat-out comedy. But it’s one...
Surprise! Star Trek: Short Treks is back. Without any advance notice, executive producer Alex Kurtzman announced last Saturday at New York Comic Con that the newest short “Q & A” was available on CBS...
And finally, we come to the last of the four Short Treks released on CBS All Access in anticipation of the second season premiere of Star Trek: Discovery. My initial viewing of “The Escape...
It’s time for another installment of Short Treks, AKA the mini-episodes of Star Trek: Discovery being released monthly in the lead-up to January’s season premiere. And unlike the previous two Short Treks, “Runaway” and...
Here we go with another installment of Short Treks, the mini-episodes that are being released only on CBS All Access to help build anticipation for January’s season premiere of Star Trek: Discovery. And I...
To build up hype for January’s second season premiere of Star Trek: Discovery, CBS All Access will be posting a series of “Short Treks” over the next few months. These are basically the service’s...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: A ship crashed on the surface of a dilithium planet 125 years ago and the Kelpien version of Rain Main got scared and caused the Burn. Discovery went to...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Tilly and Saru had a run-in with an evil courier named Zareh who hasn’t been seen since episode two. They turned him over to local authorities, who left him...
Previously: In the solid two minutes of “previously on” clips we get this week, there’s another detailed explanation of the Burn, and another glimpse of that Federation communications officer who hasn’t been seen since...
Previously: The Burn’s point of origin was traced back to the Verubin Nebula, and there’s a Kelpien ship inside broadcasting a distress call. Book wanted to make himself useful to Starfleet, so Saru told...
Previously: Discovery learned the Burn’s point of origin was the Verubin Nebula, and there’s a Federation distress signal coming from inside the nebula. Book was grateful for the Federation saving his ass again, and...
Previously: We learned about the Emerald Chain, the Orion-Andorian alliance led by this season’s supposed big bad Osyraa. The Andorian named Ryn tried to revolt against Osyraa, so she cut off his antennae, but...
Previously: Burnham was determined to figure out what caused the Burn, and learned of the existence of a black box data recorder that proved the Burn had a distinct point of origin. Saru told...
Previously: Burnham spent a year alone on a spaceship with the hunky courier/animal activist Book, but nothing happened between them. There’s Something Wrong with Georgiou, who was last seen staring off into the distance...
Previously: Michael Burnham and friends travelled to the year 3188, where the Federation has fallen apart, but they did get a tantalizing message from Admiral Senna Tal. They learned Senna was a Trill and...
Previously: Discovery arrived in the 32nd Century and had a pretty rough landing. Demter hit her head in the crash and now Something Is Wrong With Her. Stamets almost died and had to be...
Previously: Burnham and her Red Angel suit arrived 930 years in the future and crashed into a spaceship belonging to a nice courier gentleman named Book. She learned the Federation is gone because all...
Previously: The previouslies this week are basically a one-minute cut of last season’s finale, which I suppose was done to explain why the whole crew of Discovery decided to go into the far future...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery’s first two seasons: It was all Michael Burnham, all the time, as she went from disgraced mutineer to a decorated officer to the key to saving all sentient life...
Previously: Leland-Control and his Section 31 ships were coming for the Discovery and its Sphere data. They couldn’t delete the data or destroy the ship, so the only solution was to build a brand...
Previously: Pike got a time crystal from the Klingons on Boreth, but paid the price by getting a glimpse of some really bad things in store for him. Control took over Burnham’s old friend...
Previously: There were seven signals, but even Mama Burnham AKA the Red Angel had no idea what they meant. Culber was resurrected, but no longer loved Stamets. Control wanted that Sphere data, so it...
Previously: The Discovery crew found the bioneural signature of the Red Angel, and it was a perfect match for Michael Burnham. Burnham learned that her parents worked for Section 31 and designed the Red...
Previously: Spock had contact with the Red Angel, who came from the future and showed him the end of all life in the galaxy. Culber died and was resurrected but no longer had feelings...
Previously: Pike and Vyler’s shuttle got hit by a squid-like probe from the future that downloaded all of Discovery’s data. Lt. Airiam, the robot-like bridge officer, got infected with nefarious programming which was symbolized...
Previously: Well, this is different; this week, the “previously on” clips all come from “The Cage”, the original Star Trek pilot. I’m going out on a limb and guessing this is the first time...
Previously: For the first time since the pilot, there are no “previously on” clips this episode, and instead Burnham’s obligatory voiceover catches us up on what we missed: Saru saw the Red Angel, it...
Previously: Section 31 was on the hunt for Spock, who had a psychic connection to the mysterious signals across the galaxy which presage the arrival of the Red Angel. Dr. Culber was killed, but...
Previously: Mirror Georgiou recruited Voq/Tyler AKA Vyler into Section 31. Lt. Spock was wanted for the murder of his doctors. Tilly started to see the ghost of her junior high classmate May, who turned...
Previously: Discovery was out to track down the source of “seven signals” that seem to foretell appearances of the Red Angel. Spock knew about the signals months before they were detected, which in some...
Previously: Michael Burnham fell in love for the very first time with Lt. Ash Tyler, a man who—whoops—turned out to be a surgically-altered Klingon sleeper agent better known as Voq the Torchbearer. Together with...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Captain Christopher Pike arrived to take command of the Discovery, due to the detection of mysterious “red bursts” all throughout the galaxy that need investigating. But instead of a...
Last season on Star Trek: Discovery: Michael Burnham’s mutiny aboard the USS Shenzhou led to the death of her captain Philippa Georgiou, though not to the protracted war with the Klingons that followed, but...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: The Discovery traveled to the Mirror Universe and lost a captain but gained an empress, and Mirror Georgiou made no secret of how she considered Saru’s race to be...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Lt. Ash Tyler was really the Klingon known as Voq, Son of None, with Ash Tyler’s psyche grafted over his own, and L’Rell was the only one who could...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Discovery crossed over into the Mirror Universe, where Georgiou is the Terran emperor. Stamets met Mirror Stamets, who’s evil and he’s somehow corrupted the mycelial network. The Discovery is...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: The Discovery crossed over into the Mirror Universe, where Burnham and Lorca went undercover as their Terran counterparts to get info about the Defiant, the last Federation starship to...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: The whole damn ship ended up in the Mirror Universe, prompting Lorca to transform it into the “ISS Discovery”, under the command of Captain Tilly. Spore-jumping to a parallel...
Last half-season on Star Trek: Discovery: The USS Discovery became the Federation’s secret weapon in the war against the Klingons, thanks to a spore-powered drive that allows them to be anywhere in the galaxy...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Lt. Stamets is the key to powering the Discovery’s spore drive, but it’s been doing strange things to him, and he’s afraid to tell his boyfriend Dr. Culber. Lt....
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Mutineer Michael Burnham accepted a bridge post on the USS Discovery, the Federation’s not-so-secret weapon in its war against the Klingons. Captain Lorca and Lt. Ash Tyler pulled of...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: The USS Discovery has a super-secret spore drive that gives it the edge over the Klingons, and a crucial element of the spore drive is Lt. Stamets injecting himself...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Michael Burnham was Starfleet’s first mutineer, yadda yadda yadda, she grew up as Sarek’s “ward”, blah blah blah, Captain Lorca brought her to the USS Discovery which is the...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Michael Burnham, allegedly the first mutineer in Starfleet history, was invited by Captain Lorca to join the crew of the USS Discovery, the only starship outfitted with a super-spore-powered...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Burnham was stripped of rank and sentenced to life in prison, but still somehow ended up on the USS Discovery and became roommates with lovably awkward Ensign Tully. The...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: Michael Burnham, first officer of the USS Shenzhou, tried to save the ship by incapacitating Captain Georgiou and ordering a preemptive strike on a Klingon ship. It was too...
Previously on Star Trek: Discovery: We met Michael Burnham, first officer of the USS Shenzhou, and her commanding officer Captain Philippa Georgiou. While investigating damage to subspace relays, the Shenzhou encountered a big-ass Klingon...
Here we are at last: the first new Star Trek TV series in 12 years. The pilot episode, titled “The Vulcan Hello” (which sounds like something Star Trek characters would travel to Risa to...
The newest Star Trek series Star Trek: Discovery is two and a half months from its premiere. Does it seem weird that a site named after a Star Trek device hasn’t weighed in on it yet?...
As incredible as it is to believe, it’s now been over 12 years since Star Trek: Enterprise aired its final episode. At the time, ratings for the show were hitting all-time lows, Nemesis had...
“It would appear Mirror Universe episodes really need at least a couple of the regular universe characters to cross over, to counterbalance all the cartoonish evil on display.”
“And maybe I’m too jaded by Mirror Universe episodes by now, but I’m not at all surprised they blew up the Enterprise, on a show called Enterprise.”
“It’s pretty sad that the only real nod we’ve had to space travel thus far has been the use of navigational terms as an aid to sexual harassment.”
“This episode will not be presented in real time. It’ll only feel that way.”
We have now come to the final installment of… …and boy, does it suck! This episode aired in the latter half of Voyager‘s final season. By this point, the show had already given up...
Despite its flaws, “Death Wish” was a dramatically intriguing episode. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the next installment of… “The Q and the Grey” begins with the Voyager crew monitoring a star...
While Star Trek: The Next Generation ended with “All Good Things…” (and from everything I’ve been hearing about Star Trek: Picard, I have good reason to continue viewing “All Good Things…” as TNG’s true...
As I continue my look back at Star Trek: Voyager, I’ve been focusing mainly on the terrible episodes, but I have to admit that this current episode really isn’t all that terrible. In fact,...
If you’ve been following my recent Voyager recaps, you may have noticed I’ve been trying to spread the snark around a bit. So far, I’ve recapped a Neelix episode, a Tom Paris episode, a...
My return to recapping bad Star Trek: Voyager episodes continues with the third season episode “Favorite Son”, which shows Voyager encountering a planet of women who are out to lure unsuspecting men into a...
So Star Trek: Discovery finally ended its hit-or-miss first season last month, which means I’m free to return to recapping terrible episodes of Voyager. Lucky me? My best guess is that the fifth season episode “11:59”, which...
My recaps of bad Star Trek: Voyager episodes continue with season six’s “Alice”, one of those utterly predictable Voyager episodes that foreshadows its plot so heavily that by two minutes in, we already know...
Being in the middle of a long mid-season break before Star Trek: Discovery returns, I figured what better time to recap episodes of previous Star Trek shows to fill the void? Like, say, Voyager?...
“If you listen carefully, you’ll hear the thud as this episode hits the canvas.”
“Brannon Braga calls this one ‘a royal, steaming stinker’. And when the guy who wrote the episode says that, it’s pretty hard to disagree.”
Oh gosh, it’s been such fun. Miles is the kind of wholesome, kindhearted lug your inner sadist wants to see kicked until he screams. But today we draw the curtains on our sad bumbling...
Top o’ the mornin’, you cheeky monkey! Welcome back to… Today’s episode, “Honor Among Thieves”, checks off several different Trek boxes. First, there’s the well-worn trope of Chief O’Brien being assigned to a task...
Hello DSNiners, and welcome to another spot of… In a previous installment of the Trials of Miles, the Star Trek franchise engaged in an all-too-brief bit of self-reflection in the form of a stray...
Bloody hell, it’s another wee bit of… “Hard Time” is considered a landmark Star Trek episode and regularly dominates “best of franchise” lists in the way that only an episode featuring a man almost...
Listen: Miles O’Brien has come unstuck in time. Yes, we’re doing “Visionary” this week. One O’Brien’s worst ordeals, this episode features the long-suffering chief catapulted through time, on each occasion trying to correct a...
Welcome to another Hibernophobic installment of… This episode, Chief O’Brien and Dr. Bashir are on another field trip. The cold open happens with both men on a cruiser belonging to the T’Lani species. Dr....
Chief Petty Officer Miles O’Brien. What is to be done with you? The only regular Star Trek character who’s in Starfleet but not an officer. A blue-collar toiler living incongruously in a post-scarcity utopian...
“And this is how a storyline begun in one of the most legendary episodes of the original series goes out in a hail of bad comedy.”
“The big letdown here is that, at this point, they’ve taken an iconic, legendary concept like the Mirror Universe and are primarily using it to hook their characters up with dead lovers.”
“It seems the only goal here was to shove Worf into the story by any means necessary. Much like Worf’s appearances in every TNG movie.”
“Great. The one time you want Avery Brooks to play to the cheap seats, and he holds back.”
“They’ve turned the Mirror Universe into a downbeat tale about a minority being oppressed and enslaved, as if Deep Space Nine didn’t already have enough Nazi allusions in its first two seasons.”
“Yep, a Star Trek episode is going for a lighthearted tone, which can only mean one thing: Deep hurting… deep hurting!“
“Let it be known that I will be casting the first stone. Directly at Worf’s head.”
“Some like it. Not.”
Just a few weeks after “Q-Less” aired, Q returned to The Next Generation for the next installment of… The episode begins with Crusher receiving emergency patients, including Picard, Riker, and Worf, who are being...
Fans ended up waiting over a year after “Qpid” for the next installment of… …as the character was conspicuously absent from TNG’s fifth season. There were reportedly plans for an appearance but storylines couldn’t...
“Qpid”, the latest installment of… …has the same lighthearted tone as the previous entry, “Deja Q”. The episode begins with the Enterprise arriving at Tagus III, where Picard is set to give a lecture...
By the time of “Deja Q”, the fifth installment of… …the character of Q had become beloved by fans. Some likened him to Harry Mudd in terms of his annoying playfulness (I’m only referring...
Q returns for “Q Who”, which is in the middle of The Next Generation‘s second season. This season, overall, proved superior to the show’s first season, despite clunkers such as “Unnatural Selection”, “Up the...
Q’s promise to return at the end of “Encounter at Farpoint” excited fans. Hence, it was a pleasant surprise when we didn’t have to wait long for that return, which came just eight episodes...
We finally meet Q himself in the second installment of… We also meet the entire crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation, because this is the premiere episode of that series, “Encounter at Farpoint”....
A long, long time ago, when the Agony Booth’s list of Star Trek recaps was called the Worst of Trek and only consisted of recaps of bottom-of-the-barrel episodes like “Spock’s Brain” and “The Outrageous Okona”, there was one episode that seemed like a no-brainer to be included on the list. Anyone even vaguely familiar with the franchise knows exactly which episode is the most hated…
Welcome to a surprise bonus edition of… Earlier this year, I was fortunate enough to stumble across a great essay by Nicasio Andres Reed talking about a particular detail that sets the Star Trek...
As anyone who’s seen this episode knows, Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s final episode “All Good Things…” depicts a future 25 years from the current point in the series. Hence, I thought it appropriate...
Ever seen that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode that Jonathan Frakes (Cmdr. Riker himself) calls a “racist piece of shit”? We have! And we’re sharing the recap with you in this week’s “Failing the Test of Time”!
“Picard and Riker are not convinced, an attitude they express in a refreshingly non-Trekkian manner by pulling their phasers and shooting Remmick in the face until his head explodes messily.”
“It was 1987, and the fourth episode of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, when nobody knew what a Ferengi was or anything of their now-famous tendencies. So join me, won’t you, as we take a trip back to when an aura of mystery surrounded this new rival of the Federation, and see just how long it takes for their mystique to be utterly and forever left in ruins. ”
“But you can see why this incident would be so unmemorable to the captain. Nearly getting blasted to bits, abandoning ship, adrift in space for weeks, and ultimately immortalized in the textbooks for a feat of heroism would almost totally pass from anyone’s memory after nine years.”
“He’s not just outrageous, he’s nutrageous!“
“The guys who wrote that Hallmark card called. They’d like their crappy poetry back now.”
At long last, we’re coming to the end of an era here at the Agony Booth: This is the last ever episode of Star Trek (the ’70s animated series) left for us to recap....
It’s hard to believe, but for some reason our host Dr. Winston O’Boogie and I never got around to recapping the last two Star Trek (the animated series) episodes. And given that two new...
The Stardate is 7403.6, which now that I think about it, could be the date this script was finished or something. It makes me wonder now how many Stardates are actually secret codes, like...
We’re coming into the home stretch with our recaps of the animated Star Trek series, with just four episodes left to go. So it should only follow that we’re finally getting around to the...
Kirk and Spock join the alien version of the A-Team as they search for the soul of an ancient messiah figure, and we promise reading this recap will not put you on any kind of government watch list.
“Aaaand it basically looks like a watermelon with a handle. I guess the Slavers took juicing very seriously. ”
“It would seem the very first holodeck episode in the Star Trek franchise also features the very first holodeck malfunction.”
“Five seconds in, and this script and science have already officially parted ways.”
“It looks like the guy who cleans the Enterprise toilets has the week off, so congratulations, Uhura, you are now in charge!”
“I guess with the aqua-shuttle and bass boat, putting Kirk and Spock in speedos was not in the budget this week.”
“Kirk sounds a little stressed out here, and no wonder; at his normal rate of conquest, he’ll have slept with every female in the pocket universe in a matter of weeks!”
“For Christ’s sake, first we get the cheap-ass decision to not show the Ariel, and now this? It’s like the animation crew blew their budget on cocaine and hookers that month.”
“McCoy is shocked that Kirk would drop his assigned duties on the off chance they’ll find alien life. Come on, Bones, how long have you known Jim? On that planet, there’s like a million percent greater chance of him meeting chicks.”
“McCoy says, ‘We’re in the cloud!’ I sometimes wonder if when McCoy wakes up in the morning, he says stuff like, ‘I’m awake! On a ship! In space!’”
“Take it from a long time Dungeons & Dragons player: you never split up the party. Bad shit like this happens all the time.”
“I can’t help but wonder if this entire episode was inspired by someone messing up the coloration on some animation cells and someone else saying, ‘Hey, I got a great idea for an episode!’”
“Kirk uses a tricorder and determines the Orion has the pure, uncut strobolin. Part of me really wanted to see Kirk dip his fingertip into the box so he could taste it for purity.”
“Oh my God, Scotty misplaced the lower half of his body! Or, he has a tiny cloaking device in his pants.”
“Yes, I would say space vomit is an unorthodox design.”
“Kirk tells Scotty—who’s now on the bridge—that he did good work fixing the shields. Scotty explains he hasn’t finished fixing them, which makes me wonder why Scotty’s ass is not down in Engineering fixing the shields.”
Ryan recaps the animated Star Trek episode “The Lorelei Signal”, where the Enterprise responds to a sexy distress call, and Kirk and Spock and McCoy all lose their damn minds over a colony of blondes, who turn out to be lifeforce vampires! Uhura and Chapel are forced to take command and rescue the horny bastards, with the help of the Enterprise’s surprisingly hot womens’ security team. Watch the video below, and learn all about the hidden dangers of Jazzercise headbands and competitive giant ruby tossing!
“Just drink up, and it’ll all make perfect sense.”
“William Shatner, whether he’s animated or not, never misses out on an opportunity to do a head roll. “
I’ll begin by giving thanks to my colleague Tyler Peterson, who penned the delightful Trials of Miles recaps which inspired me to do this series, which will look at the artistic rise and fall...
Many Star Trek fans say that the original series’s crowning achievement was the penultimate episode of the show’s first season, “The City on the Edge of Forever.” Some fans go further than that by...
October is here again, and for many, that means the start of Halloween season. So why not look at the only episode in Star Trek franchise history that was an actual Halloween episode? This...
In the franchise’s entire 51-year history, there’s only been one Star Trek episode of any of the six series that’s been holiday-themed. That episode was the original series’ “Catspaw”, which was the first episode...
This is part of a series of reviews we’re calling Movies/TV Shows that Predicted Trump, where we discuss the media that foretold (in ways both large and small) the election of Donald J. Trump as...
When the original Star Trek tries to imagine life under a female starship captain, the results are 100 times more nightmarish than you can imagine.
“As it turns out, ‘The Tholian Web’, one of the stronger episodes of the original series’ third season, was actually a Mirror Universe episode all along. We just didn’t know it until 2005.”
A transporter accident causes Kirk and Company to cross over into a parallel universe where Spock has a beard, and the crew of the Enterprise is evil and menacing. Meanwhile, a transporter accident in Mendo’s house leaves Mendo reviewing this episode with an evil and menacing version of special guest star Sofie Liv. But surely, that’s all just a coincidence.
“Right now, I feel like a character in an H.P. Lovecraft story, driven mad, just waiting for the mutant fish people to come for me.”
“Who knew you only needed twelve buttons to control an entire person?”
A gang of ten year olds with a leader wearing a big flowered muummuu do not an intimidating nemesis make.
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