Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) (part 4 of 9)

Unfortunately, we go from there to Worf’s quarters. He’s woken up by Picard’s voice, saying he’s late for his shift. This causes Worf to sit up too quickly and smash his head on the ceiling. Oh, funny! You know it’s bad when they’re reworking gags from the universally reviled Star Trek V which were even stupid in that film.

Up on the bridge, Picard suddenly appears to have the hearing capabilities of a bat. He detects that some random sensors are out of alignment. LaForge confirms they’re out of alignment by 12 microns, a rather small amount (I guess?), and asks how Picard could hear that.

Picard: When I was an ensign, I could detect a three micron misalignment.

Well, hello, Mr. Fancy Pants. I assume the screenwriters thought this would be a clue to the (soon to be established) regenerative effects of the Briar Patch, but the first bits of information on the Patch are so vague that this only serves to make Picard look like an insufferable dickhead. I’d consider the possibility that the insufferable dickhead part might be one of the effects of the Patch, but… actually, no. He’s always been an insufferable dickhead. The Briar Patch just gives him a convenient excuse in case anybody calls him on it.

Also, generally speaking, plot points shouldn’t be revealed via obscure technobabble that only the biggest nerds would try to understand.

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Ed Harris

A fan of less than great cinema since childhood, Ed divides his time between writing scripts, working an actual paying job and subjecting himself willingly to some of the worst films society has produced.

Multi-Part Article: Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

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