VIDEO: Spider-Man 3 (2007)

The Unusual Suspect finishes off the Raimi Spider-Man trilogy with a review of Spider-Man 3! Often regarded as one of the worst superhero films of all time, the Suspect looks at what rubbed people the wrong way. Make sure to watch his reviews of Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 while you’re at it.

Also, check out the Suspect’s mashup of Emo Peter and Johnny Bravo!

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  • The_Stig

    In defense of the infamous strutting down the street scene, he WAS under the influence of the symbiote which enhances the baser emotions of the host, which it feeds off. Peter Parker is, well….kind of a doofus. That scene could be interpreted as the symbiote amplifying and bringing Peter’s inner doofery and what -he- considers how a cool person acts to the forefront. Hence the finger guns and the disco in the street and the entire persona of DouchePeter. But that does not excuse the dance scene.

    I was as bothered by this scene as anyone else at first, but in retrospect I don’t know why fans single that one out yet nobody talks about the slapstick montage set to Raindrops Keep Falling on My head from Spider-Man 2, complete with a cheesy freeze-frame right out of a 70’s sitcom.

    Anyway, I would have tightened up the script so that Goblin 2 and Sandman were the villians and eliminated the whole “Harry gets amnesia” plotline entirely, Hell, wasn’t James Franco kind of a big deal by the time this movie came out? He deserved a bigger role, dammit. Then I would have had Peter get rid of the symbiote just as it was in the film, but save the part where Eddie comes in, prays to God to kill Peter and then gets taken over by the symbiote to become Venom as the post-credits teaser to set up Spidey 4, and I’d have told Sony to shut their faces if they want to make a crapload of money and snort coke off the tits of gold-plated hookers.

    I also may or may not have killed off the Ginger Scream Machine.

  • StevePotter

    MJ SEVERELY overreacts to the kiss. She’s an actress. She’s probably kissed on stage before. It’s part of playing a part. Peter’s playing a part when he’s Spider-Man. Kissing Gwen was just keeping up appearances. He was acting. MJ should have gotten over it.

    • Cheshire Cat

      Ah, but it’s not just any kiss. It’s their own super special ‘upside down’ kiss.

      • StevePotter

        That’s the only semi-valid complaint she has, and even then, she blew it waaaay out of proportion.

  • Muthsarah

    Special effects…revolutionary? I remember them looking pretty dated. Sandman was hit or miss, sometimes looking fluid, sometimes looking worse than the CGI in the first movie; Peter’s dance “enhancements” were little better, trying to look half-assed cheesy and succeeding. The only thing I remember looking consistently good was the general Spidey swinging and stuff, but they had already gotten that down in the second movie.

    I dunno. All that money, plus Raimi’s clear (and early-on-expressed) disinterest in the film. There’s gotta be a connection. Maybe he ran up the bill just to spite them. Maybe he did a ton of reshoots, figuring it was his last chance to spend like a Spring Break trust fund baby. Or maybe just good ol’ hookers and blow.

    Usually, these uber-expensive movies are as hollow as a souffle. Both this and World’s End (PotC) had a TON of scenes that seemed to exist just to be expensive, and would usually go on forever. That’s where the wasted money hypothesis comes from, at least. You give someone $300 million to make something, they’re probably gonna spend it all, without any enthusiasm, foresight, or discipline. Which is how Spidey 3 came out. Just a big, bloated waste.

    Oh, I’m not even two minutes into your video yet. Carry on.

    • Muthsarah

      Hmmm….I’m still not hearing much praise for the film other than “it’s no’ THAT ba’ad”. Is there any part of the movie that wholly works, without qualifications? J.K. Simmons is hilarious, but only a pale shadow of what he was before, like they shoehorned him in for the fans who expected an encore but didn’t actually have a significant role for him. Emo Peter is funny…the first time, then it’s ruined. Sandman is sympathetic…but doesn’t fit in the story, and isn’t played by a charismatic enough actor. Harry is….a complete retread. MJ…is annoying (one cinder block does not a character save). Venom…even the director didn’t want him there. Gwen? Eddie?

      To me, NOTHING in this movie worked. Every bit of praise that it could occasionally eke out for an interesting moment was crushed under the weight of another pointless scene. For all the money, for all the busyness of three villains plus two Spideys, for all the callbacks, for all the melodrama, how can so much of the movie be not just boring, but very, very cuttable? What was MJ’s role in this movie? What was Harry’s? What was Eddie’s? What was Marco’s? Could any of them have been cut, and yet leave enough for a feature-length film? Yes, ANY of them could have been cut. None of them were an integral part of the story. All they did, individually, was to bloat a film made up entirely of extraneous moments. A filler reel. A deleted reel. Sure, maybe some of the bits were fun, but none of them were fundamental. The film has no central plot, no point, no heart. It’s just moments. Just spectacle. Just…a big pile of burning money.

      EDIT: Oh, and I really should say, another fantastic job you did putting this video together.

  • ihateyourmovie

    Unfortunately, or fortunately, the Japanese version of Spidey puts this movie to shame by leaps and bounds. I like the “real” spider-man, but this movie sucked balls.

  • Monophylos

    Of course “Spider-Man 3” is bad but is it really that much worse than the other two? Peter Parker is, at bottom, a weak and uninteresting character, at least as he comes across in the movies. His personality (such as it is) consists of three things: self-pity about Uncle Ben and his “great responsibility”, self-pity about his imaginary duty to protect Mary Jane from something or other, and self-pity about being a barely employed loser living in a dingy bedsit. After a while you just want to smack him one.

  • Nasty In The Pasty

    Anyone who literally thinks that this is one of “the worst superhero movies of all time” is an idiot.