Spend Quality Christmas Time With ‘The Star Wars Holiday Special’ Because It’s Still Better Than Arguing With Your Family
Oh, Star Wars Holiday Special. How much inadvertent joy have you given us throughout the ages? How may cease and desist letters from George Lucas have you spawned? How many times has anyone ever watched you sober? (None. None times.) We’re personally quite fond of Carrie Fisher’s coked-up incoherent off-key ramble through the “Life Day” song, which is sort of like a Christmas song, but not really. It’s only 90 seconds long, but it feels like an eternity.
Bea Arthur sings a night’s end “you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here” sort of song in the cantina bar because Bea Arthur was a good sport.
Diahann Carroll shows up as a distressingly jarringly seductive virtual reality hologram thingy and maybe comes on to Chewbacca or something? We couldn’t really bear to watch.
You can watch the whole thing here, but we’d really only advise you to do so under the influence of illicit chemicals, because anything you can actually get legally probably isn’t strong enough to endure two hours — TWO HOURS — of this. Also, too, because illicit chemicals are clearly responsible for this thing’s existence.
If you DO manage to watch it all, reward yourself and cleanse your palate with the Bill Murray lounge lizard Star Wars song from SNL’s late 1970s glory days. Hurry, though, because SNL gets this thing pulled down with startling speed.
Merry Christmas, errebody.