Sep 14, 2020
Space Mutiny (1988) (part 3 of 7)
And now we meet our last main character, MacPhearson, played by small-time martial arts actor James Ryan. Ryan, as we’ll soon see, is an unabashed ham. Just by himself, he makes me glad I bought the uncut movie, because a lot of his most enjoyable moments were cut from the MST3k version. And by “enjoyable”, I mean, “would be irritating in most other contexts, but actually improves this movie”.
MacPhearson is Kalgan’s right hand man, and the two of them gloat about all the residual damage their little act of sabotage inflicted. MacPhearson happily (and dramatically!) notes that no one’s getting on or off the ship for two weeks as a result.
Kalgan responds with a big speech that reveals his entire motivation.
Kalgan: Excellent. They no longer have a choice! [maniacal laugh] It was cruel fate to be born in space. But I have vowed we will not die here. It is my destiny to set my feet upon a real world, to accumulate wealth and power beyond our wildest dreams! [maniacal laugh] I have offered the people of the Southern Sun a rich, new life. And now, they have no alternative but to accept my generosity, and alter course for Corona Borealis! [maniacal laugh]
Not to belabor the point, but if all he wants is to “set [his] feet upon a real world”, along with all the decadent capitalistic benefits that come along with that, what’s stopping him? Apart from the fact that he just blew up the exits and they’re all trapped aboard for two weeks.
Speaking of which, how does this act of sabotage force the ship to “alter course” for anywhere? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way, so you don’t have to think of an answer. The movie sure won’t.