Nov 22, 2019
Space: 1999 “Breakaway” (part 5 of 6)
Fade in on Dr. Russell examining Koenig in sickbay. He’s fine, the moon’s fine, everything’s fine. Russell feels the need to give him a lecture about how stupid he was for going out there. “We’re looking for answers, Commander, not heroes.” It’s a great line. Or at least, it would have been if spoken by an actual actress.
Koenig answers, “I didn’t know you cared.” Yes, this is the start of a very mild series-long will-they-or-won’t-they romance. It’s a lot like Booth and Brennan on Bones, but only if the female part was played by actual bones.
Bergman is holding a burned-out circuit board, and he comes (very slowly) to the conclusion that it’s exceptionally high magnetism, not radiation, that’s been giving people tumors. Wow. And all this time, I thought they were going to discover a monolith.
Bergman, Koenig, and Russell have a very, very long conversation during which they worry that Area Two might explode from magnetism, too. They decide to send an unmanned Eagle out to check. They show the empty cockpit of an Eagle, and then everybody at Main Mission watching it. Pornstache is flying it with a little model airplane remote that they built into his desk. Bergman is leaning against the wall, Koenig is brooding, all is normal.
Eventually, Pornstache lands the Eagle. Martin Laundau chooses to whisper the line, “Easy does it.” I’m beginning to suspect that Landau was deliberately making strange acting choices just to see if anyone would call him on it.
The ship tries to land, but suddenly everything goes haywire. All of the instruments (including the oscilloscope) go nuts. The puppeteer starts swinging the model all over the place. The Eagle crashes smack into the middle of Area Two.
If you’re keeping track, that’s the second big, expensive spaceship that they’ve crashed in five minutes. The rate at which the Alphans lose these things is the stuff of legend. Over the course of two seasons, no less than twenty-four Eagles will be lost. To put that in some sort of perspective, Voyager only lost seventeen shuttles, and that was over seven years.
The Eagle crash causes Area Two to explode, blasting the moon out of orbit, and stranding the Alphans with no way to get home. Nah, I’m kidding. Nothing happens.