I Am Sorry We Used To Send You Death Threats, Former MTV VJ Adam Curry

I Am Sorry We Used To Send You Death Threats, Former MTV VJ Adam Curry

You all hear about this dumb idiot 14-year-old Dutch girl who has been arrested for tweeting funny bomb threats to American Airlines? First she was all racist, like, “I am Ibrahim and I love Al Qaeda and also bombing shit,” and then she thought she could “block” the FBI on Twitter. Oh man, what a dumb idiot!

aa tweet

But was she joking, and was it simultaneously her friend not her? Sure, why not.

aa tweet 2

Sarah, keep it together! Or at least “block” the FBI from following you on Twitter.

fbi tweet

Whew, that should do it. OK, good job everyone!

Oh yeah, and now Sarah has been arrested by Rotterdam police after she and a family member moseyed on down to be like IT WAS ME SORRY SO SORRY OH RIGHT ALSO IT WASN’T ME IT WAS MY FRIEND.

So the Dutch police are interviewing her, and will doubtless just scare her real good and she will leave a chastened and wiser girl, and they will not even send her to Gitmo probably, even though she like totes deserves it.

But while we can all recognize that that girl is a Dumb Idiot, well, did you happen to notice the headline up there?

Yeah, my friends and I used to send Adam Curry, MTV VJ, death threats. On paper. Through the United States Mail. Signed, and with our return address. I don’t remember why, but looking at that picture up top, I am guessing it had to do with his Richard Marx hair. I also seem to remember being outraged by his leather jackets? Not because they were leather, either, but … just because? He was a phony fucking leather-jacket-wearing poseur who needed us to murder him?

Also, I know for a fact that when we called him a poseur, we included that Frenchified “u.” Does that make a death threat from 14-year-old girls more or less scary?

Sorry we told you we were going to murder you Adam Curry. We wouldn’t have actually done it.

I am guessing nobody from MTV ever bothered to open our letters, even though they were addressed in eye-catching purple Magic Marker, probably.

Everybody, if you have a 14-year-old girl, go see what she is doing RIGHT NOW. Also, take away all computers. And pens.

Now here is the part of the story where instead of locking up your teenager, which you should, you will have to punch your own self in the face:

In looking up Adam Curry to steal that image for this post, I discovered Adam Curry, after MTV, was one of the first people to start using websites — he’s the one who registered MTV.com — and was in early on web portals and hosting.

By 2005, he’d sold one company, started at least two more failed ones, and that year was ordered by a judge to return $250 million he’d taken from one of his businesses.

Adam Curry’s companies — even failed ones — made so much money he was able to loot one for hundreds of MILLIONS of dollars.

Adam Curry.

This guy.

adam curry 3

Yeah. Him.

That still doesn’t mean we should have threatened to kill him though, I’m almost positively sure.


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  • DeSwiss

    You were right to use the ”u’ on him. He deserved it.

  • eastcoastlib

    I have it on good authority Adam Curry also trademarked the term “side boob”. You guys owe him a zillion dollars.

  • Duckler

    Valar Morghulis.

  • Adam tweeted this. These days he’s one of the Internet’s foremost “crackpots” and basically invented podcasting. Presents the No Agenda podcast with grumpy geek John C Dvorak every week.http://www.noagendashow.com

  • Nick the Rat

    Adam Curry is from the future… I wouldn’t fuck with him.

  • oi, Princess Holzkopf, go to dvorak.org/na and donate at least $333 to Adam’s podcast as real apology or else this is just a PR stunt of yourself!

    • rebecca

      You want me to give $333 to a centimillionaire? I think I will not do that, no.

      • Carl Cumby

        lol Adam is far from a millionaire these days Rebecca, though quite happy living in the Travis Heights Hideout with his Miss and driving their 10 year old Dodge Ram and worn out SUV. Being a professional legislative analyst and mainstream media assassin doesn’t pay well these days. ITM LGY

  • Adam admits to being bi-curious so the French ‘u’ was definitely well deserved. ITM LGY Mark Pugner

  • Deleted

    This post was deleted.

  • Jason M

    Poor Adam Curry. He took all that crap while Riki Rachtman was knee-deep in pussy. Life ain’t fair.

  • msanthropesmr

    A 14 year old girl will cut you as soon as look at you. No kidding. I’m terrified by Ms. Schoenkopf now, and as a 14 year old, I imagine she could terrorize with a simple hair flip.

  • ismichie_Edu-Muser

    You left out that he is the Podfather! All the girls loved him back in the day. I Hated him, too. Now I love him. ITM.

    • kfreed

      Back in what day? Where was I? And who is Adam Curry? :D

  • $73376667

    Now this is a crime I can believe would be tied to legalized marijuana.

  • kfreed

    You guys could maybe have just filled the shampoo bottle in his dressing room with Nair and murdered that Tribble swallowing his head.

  • NickDC

    I’m surprised the affable Mark Pugner has not chimed in on this article. @MarkPugner where are ye?

  • ForTheMusic


  • ITM, slaves! Adam Curry is currently on the road, spreading the truth, and him and John could use more supporters.