SNARKETING: Matthew McConaughey gets serious about the Lincoln Navel-gazer
I get it. You’re a “serious” actor now. You’ve put a shirt on.
You starved yourself in order to win an award. Good for you! Women do it all the time, but it’s a total commitment when you guys have to lay off the beer for a few months for a role.
So now that you have your Academy Award and your Golden Globe, you’re way too talented give us the ole “Alright. Alright. Alright.” Latest news says you’ve hung up your G-string and won’t be returning for the Magic Mike sequel.
I’m actually quite happy that your career has gone through puberty, grown out of the frat boy days, and reached manhood. That’s why they pay you the big bucks to act like you enjoy driving a Ford Escape… oh wait, that’s a Lincoln MKC. Same thing, right?
Watch the commercial here:
Matthew, my love, you can be a serious actor without all the mutterings of a recent divorcee going through a mid-life crises. Let’s take your metaphysical mumbo jumbo seriously for a moment.
“Sometimes you gotta go back to actually move forward.” So the Lincoln MKC is a step backward for Lincoln?
“I don’t mean going back to reminisce or chase ghosts. I mean going back to see where you can from — where y’been, how y’got here, see where you’re goin’.” Is this where you’re going to talk about the rear-view camera or the excellent mirror placement? Is the windshield larger? What about the blind spot?
“I know there are those who say you can’t go back. Yes, you can. You just have to look in the right place.” Where would that be? Under the seats? In the extra storage compartments? Is it in the glove box? What the hell are you talking about? Certainly not the car!
I appreciate the emotions and authenticity you lend to this campaign, Matt. However, I think Lincoln is so excited to have your star power that they forgot to show the car. Perhaps if you take your shirt off, I won’t care…