Nov 26, 2015
Sleepy Hollow: A Mysterious Manhole in the Nether Regions
What’s going on with Sleepy Hollow’s nether regions? In this very special episode, we find out what lies beneath our favorite sleepy little town. Plus, Abbie meets a man who isn’t Ichabod, and Frank asks Jenny for help.
Three surveyors are exploring the tunnels beneath Sleepy Hollow. The plan is to build an underground parking garage. As the men look around, they find a mysterious manhole and a ladder leading even further down. As they start down the ladder, they are grabbed by demons, natch.
Abbie gets a text from Captain Reyes about the missing surveyors, and she drags Ichabod to the scene to investigate. There’s a man there standing way too close and snapping pictures of everything. Abbie confronts him, and it turns out that he is both a journalist and the brother of one of the missing men. He doesn’t think the police are doing enough to find his brother, and given that the police are just showing up, he’s is both right and a moron at the same time.
Abbie and Ichabod head into the tunnels and soon find the surveyors’ equipment where it was left near the mysterious manhole. They also find the cell phone of one of the men, and it has captured footage of the demons grabbing them because why not. They are unprepared to enter the fray just yet, but they do use radar mapping to see what lies beneath. They discover it’s an octagonal-shaped structure. According to Ichabod, this must be the work of… Thomas Jefferson. Okay. Whatever. T.J. loved octagons, I guess. Obviously, they must look at Grace Dixon’s journal next. Back to the archives.
Meanwhile, Frank joins Jenny at a bar and asks her for a favor. Apparently, back when he was arrested for murder, the police confiscated a number of his personal belongings, including his wedding ring, which he says he’d like to have back. If it’s not too much trouble, could she help him break into the evidence room and steal it? Jenny says sure, no prob.
Looking through Grace Dixon’s journal, Abbie and Ichabod find a reference to a “fenestella,” a particular type of underground vault guarded by “dark souls.” That’s what they are dealing with. They head back to the tunnels for another look and are able to hear the surveyors and confirm they are alive. Then, the demons chase them and they must escape. When they do, that pesky good-looking reporter, whose name is Calvin, is standing at the top of the ladder taking pictures.
Calvin demands to know what is going on. Abbie doesn’t tell him much, but she does say his brother is alive. Calvin hints that he knows something about the dark forces in Sleepy Hollow, and he threatens to publish his suspicions. Abbie agrees to offer him limited access to the scene in exchange for him shutting up about it, at least for now. Ichabod doesn’t like this bargain at all and asks if Abbie really thinks she can trust Calvin, but Abbie says she thinks she can. (Seriously, sometimes it is like heterosexual men cannot even see how dreamy other men are.)
Abbie and Ichabod go back to the archives to putz around, and the demons eat one of the surveyors.
At the police station, Jenny helps Irving break in to the evidence room, but it turns out he’s not looking for his wedding ring at all. Instead, he digs through a box and comes up with what looks like a flash drive.
Abbie and Ichabod head back to the tunnels. Calvin is there, but they make him wait outside while they go into the demons’ nest. Ichabod does nab Calvin’s fancy camera, though. He uses the flash to scare the demons back. And then he drops the camera, destroying it, all $7,000 worth of it. Finally, he and Abbie enter the octagonal vault, and they do indeed find Thomas Jefferson, or at least a hologram of him.
Due to the usual cockamamie magic and cockamamie science, Jefferson’s memories and personality were preserved as a hologram, which has been “living” beneath Sleepy Hollow all this time. And he has something to give Abbie and Ichabod, something that will help them with their sacred mission.
Back at the evidence room, Jenny notices that Frank is up to no good, so she points a gun at him and he starts fast-talking. He says he’s evil, but only sometimes. He came back from the dead with a tainted soul, but sometimes he’s himself. It’s like a Jekyll and Hyde thing. Anyway, he’s Jekyll right now and that flash drive has info about the offshore bank accounts of the Hellfire Club, that evil group that tried to
start World War III in X-Men: First Class raise Moloch last season. Frank wants to take that money for his wife and kid so they can get to safety before he goes bad for good.
Down in the underground vault, hologram Thomas Jefferson is showing Ichabod and Abbie all the information he has for them–details of their sacred purpose, books explaining how to defeat every bad guy and Monster of the Week, phone numbers and email addresses of their future mentors. It’s all right here, and Jefferson says amassing it has been his greatest achievement. (The Declaration of Independence comes to mind, but I’ll not quibble.)
Abbie is eager to fight the demons and save the surveyors, but Jefferson warns that if things get violent, the vault and all its contents could be destroyed. I guess that’s just the risk they have to take, because they go to confront the demons, who are all asleep in their nest. They signal to the surviving surveyors, and everyone starts tiptoeing out. At the last second, the demons wake up and start chasing them, but everyone escapes.
Calvin is reunited with his brother, and the other surviving surveyor seems to be having a panic attack. Abbie and Ichabod think they should kill all the remaining demons. Ichabod says he’ll take care of it, so Abbie goes to get medical help for the man having the attack.
Ichabod goes back down to the vault, and Jefferson makes one more plea for him not to risk destroying everything. But Ichabod says the demons are too dangerous to live. He blows up the whole darn thing–demons, vault, hologram of the third President, map of heaven, blueprints for perpetual motion machine, fancy camera bits, everything.
When Abbie returns, she reminds Calvin that what happens beneath Sleepy Hollow, stays beneath Sleepy Hollow. He says he never reveals his sources. (You’ll just have to take my word for it that this is sexy banter.)
And finally, back at Ichabod’s cabin, Katrina, apparently still exhausted from the previous episode’s dipshittery, is napping on the couch. She awakens to see Henry standing over her.
He says, “It’s time for us to begin our work,” and hands her three black roses. A thorn pricks her hand and she awakens again, for real this time. But the roses are on the table and her hand is bleeding, so maybe it wasn’t a dream.