Jul 3, 2019
Sister Wives Recap: Meri Drops A Bomb
Sunday evening was many things, but for TLC and men who can’t commit, it was the season 7 premiere of “Sister Wives.” For the past 6 seasons I have been doing things like streaming “Bob’s Burgers” on Netflix and working on perfecting my recipe making ice cubes from pinot grigio. So I like, legit just met these people.
And what a treat.
Coming from a feminist liberal who is also a prude, I wondered why four women would marry a guy who looks like the type of dude who makes inappropriate comments to children while working the sausage booth a rural town fair. But I think all of my friends can do better.
The episode opens with the husband, Kody Brown bragging several times about how swamped he is because it’s one wife’s birthday, and his 21st wedding anniversary with his other wife. Then, hold for it, it’s his birthday. They need to pen the self-help book “How Does He Do It All?” because it is a lot. Think: cake three nights in one week! In fact, he said, “I’m going in so many directions this week it’d make a monogamous head spin off its neck.” True dat!
I couldn’t tell how many kids they all have but I did one chaperone a 5th grade class to the Bronx Zoo and can count so, from what I saw there’s seven. But I’m not kidding myself. I know some were probably hiding in the shower. The eldest son has Asperger’s Syndrome. Kody announces, “He doesn’t have Asperger’s. He’s just quirky.” The frustrated wife next to him responds, “He does! I’ve had all the tests done.” Then they cut to this poor kid winking uncontrollably.
However, the real point of this story is that one of the wives, Meri, has something to say. I’ll set the scene: She and Kody are seated in a restaurant that looks like an unbranded Olive Garden. Meri appears to be tweaking. I’m nervous for her. I’m also hoping this is going to turn into “Breaking Bad.”
“I want to go back to college,” she says.
OH my God! This is what happens when girls decide not to further their educations. Okay. Exhale. Then I realize Kody isn’t ordering dressing on the side. He’s not demanding no butter or oil be used in their food. He seems like a semi-decent guy so I’m bracing myself for his reaction. He says he’s cool with her getting her degree but it’s going to upset one of her sister wives. You see, Robyn and Meri are starting a jewelry design business called, “Sister Wives Closet.” Meri tells Kody she knows Robyn is going to take it hard and to allow her time to break the news to Robyn face-to-face. This is where Kody’s moral compass is really challenged. Because later in the episode Robyn tells Kody that she’s so busy with the business, she can’t have another baby right now. Kody explains to the camera that he wants to add fuel to the fire and basically say, “Oh guess what, bitch? Your life is going to get hella harder because one of your sister wives is going to be taking algebra classes four nights a week.” But he doesn’t. He respects all his wives’ boundaries.
My favorite part of the episode is when Kody announces they own a house in Utah and it’s been a real albatross. He explains it’s an ideal abode if you have three wives and oodles of kids. He calls it a “Frankenstein home” and acknowledges it’s not perfect for the rest of us folk forced into monogamous slavery. They’re having trouble selling it. Not everyone needs four kitchens.
She’s putting her everything into this company and needs back-up. Or maybe just a nanny?
Until next week, kids.