Aug 6, 2017
Scream Queens: Truth, Dare, or Lie
Welcome to Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens where the all conflict is contrived and the plot holes are acknowledged but never fixed.
Chanel announces that they will move forward with the Kappa house election. Someone asks what happens if there is a tie, and #3 explains that the two will simply be co-presidents but they don’t have to worry about that since there’s never been a tie in Kappa history since–oh wait, it’s a tie.
Also predictably, Chanel throws a hissy fit and unfairly blames the people around her (she especially singles out #5), but when #3 and #5 go to comfort her, Chanel reveals she voted for Zayday. It’s part of her Chanel Dies Last Plan: by putting Zayday in a prominent position, hopefully the killer will go after her first and give Chanel time to escape.
Oblivious of the plan, Grace and Zayday celebrate her win. Grace tells Zayday about how the killer is connected to the Kappa’s dark history, and Zayday suggests throwing a slumber party to coax secrets out into the open. The other Kappa girls are excited about the idea, especially #3, who wants to play Spin the Bottle. “Why are we playing Spin the Bottle?” demands Chanel. “There aren’t any Dickies here!”
Speaking of dicks, the Dickie Dollar Scholars tell Chad that it’s weird that he sleeps with faculty like Dean Munsch and Denise Hemphill. Chad agrees to get back with Chanel for the sake of popularity, and the boys decided to crash the slumber party–wait, how exactly did they hear about that again?–to hook up with the girls.
Unfortunately for them, some of the girls are more interested in hooking up with other girls. #3 is excited to finally kiss Sam but doesn’t want to go any further. She tells Sam that due to her Manson heritage, the people who love her go insane and it’s best to just stay ali-buddies.
“Of all the ‘I’m dangerous, don’t love me!’ reasons, this is the weirdest one.”
The girls want to go out to pick up more party supplies, but the security system has glitched and has locked them all inside. Hester worries that the killer did this on purpose to pick them off one at a time. Chanel calls Chad to ask for help, and he and the frats bros break into the second story of the Kappa House from the outside. Unfortunately for them, the killer is in the distance and rapidly approaching the house. He kills one of the frat bros who didn’t make it up the ladder fast enough as the others watch in horror.
Meanwhile, Zayday and Grace look to round up everyone for a game of Truth or Dare to figure out who the killer is. Grace points out that maybe their plan is stupid and they should save their skins and just leave school while they can. Zayday insists that they can’t let the killer win and they have to finish their investigation.
After getting everyone together, Zayday announces that the truth questions for the game will be about finding out who the killer is. “And if you pick dare, maybe you’re hiding something, “she shrugs. Jennifer points out that they can all easily lie, but Chad calls her stupid. “The game is called ‘Truth or Dare,’ not ‘Truth, Dare or Lie,'” he scoffs.
“You think people would lie in a game of Truth or Dare? What monster would do that?”
Unfortunately for Zayday and Grace, the wrong secrets are revealed. #5 storms off in tears when Chanel announces that #3 has vagina dentata, while #3 admits her crush on Sam and then furiously orders Sam to go to the creepy basement as punishment for revealing #3’s Manson heritage.
Of course, when Sam heads to the creepy basement by herself, she is attacked by the killer. “If you’re going to kill me, please show me who you are,” she begs. The killer takes off the mask — unseen by the audience — and Sam realizes her hunch about who the killer was is right. Unfortunately for her, she is strangled to death before she can warn the others.
Hester takes Chad aside and asks him when he’s going to dump Chanel. Chad not so gently explains that Hester is too crazy for him and he’s going to stick with Chanel from now on. Hester can only jealously watch as Chad and Chanel go into the closet for 7 Minutes in Heaven, and I can only imagine how furious she would be if she saw Chad agree to be with Chanel monogamously.
Heaven on earth quickly becomes hell when Hester announces that Sam has been killed. Since she was the one who discovered the body, Chanel accuses Hester of being the killer. “I would be offended by that accusation, Chanel, if I wasn’t honored that you were thinking of me,” gushes Hester.
Meanwhile, #5 and her boyfriend are making out in the closet when the killer sneaks up behind them and kills him. #5 screams in horror.
“Crap! Now all my boyfriends are dead!”
Now people can’t decide who the killer is: Hester, #3, or even Pete, who hasn’t been in the episode of all. Chad discovers a trap door in the house, and Chanel admits that the house has secret tunnels. Everyone freaks out because that’s how the killer has been moving around unseen. Zayday insists on exploring the tunnels to see if there is a way out, and Chanel tags along as co-president.
“These are the nicest secret tunnels I’ve ever seen,” remarks Zayday, and she’s not lying. The tunnels are renovated, complete with tiling, electricity, and portraits of past Kappa presidents. The killer chases the girls down the hallway and because she trips, Zayday falls behind. She is about to be cornered by the Red Devil when Chanel sneaks up behind him and knocks him out with a lamp.
“You came back for me?” asks a surprised Zayday and audience at home. Didn’t Chanel just state in the beginning of this episode that she was going to use Zayday as a human shield if the killer came after her? What happened to Chanel Dies Last Plan?
The sisters survive the night, and Dean Munsch finally allows the police to post a guard around the house. Wes wants to take Grace out of school immediately, but she insists on staying. #3 and #5 bond over the deaths of their lost loves and make a vow to outlive Chanel.
The surviving Kappa girls are relieved to have survived the Red Devil and have a dance party to celebrate how they avoided getting brutally murdered…for now.
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