Aug 17, 2021
Santa with Muscles (1996) (part 1 of 11)
The Cast of Characters:
Blake Thorne (Hulk Hogan). Our Santa with muscles! A rich, egotistical blowhard bodybuilder. (Something tells me Hulk Hogan didn’t have to stretch too much to play this role.) Gets hit on the head and comes to believe he’s Santa Claus.
Ebner Frost (Ed Begley, Jr.). Evil rich guy out to ruin Christmas for an orphanage. So I guess he’s called “Ebner Frost” because the name “Scrooge McDuck” was already taken.
Leslie (Robin Curtis). Former Vulcan and matriarch of the orphanage. Terrorized by Ebner Frost and his gang of annoying goons. The needs of her bank account outweigh the needs of the few who paid to see this in the theater.
Lenny (Don Stark). Or as I prefer to call him, Guido the Elf. From the North Pole by way of Newark. Convinces Hulk that he’s really Santa in order to involve him in his mischevious plans.
Clayton (Garrett Morris). Helps Leslie run the orphanage. Incredibly, does not have a single funny line in the whole movie. Comedy has not been veddy veddy good to Garrett Morris.
Sarah (Mila Kunis). A little know-it-all orphan who looks down on everyone and has a smart-ass response to everything. Basically, Jackie before she got boobs.