Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972) (part 7 of 11)

Pauli Girl wanders around until she happens upon a door in a wall of solid rock. We learn that this home belongs to none other than the Drive Thru Speaker Narrator herself.

After a eternity, the door finally opens to reveal somebody in a foam “mole” suit, which has been accessorized with a shawl and an apron. This turns out to be the creatively named “Mrs. Mole”. Mrs. Mole lets her in and Pauli Girl asks, “May I come in and warm myself?” even though she’s already inside. She then totally hits up the mole for something to eat.

“Of – course – I’ll – fix – you – something,” Mrs. Mole says mechanically, and Pauli Girl waves her hands in front of the fireplace for one tenth of a second. For some reason, I don’t find this to be a very convincing “cold” act.

So even though Pauli Girl just said she hasn’t eaten in “several days”, Mrs. Mole decides to sit a spell and interrogate her. First, she wants to know what a “pretty little girl” is doing out in the forest. What pretty little girl? Mrs. Mole also appears to be a lot more tolerant about Pauli’s height than the Insect Things, because she doesn’t even bother to mention it.

Pauli Girl goes on and on, giving her the long spiel about how she had a home, but then the Mom Frog kidnapped her, and tried to get her to marry her frog son. Geez, did she ask for your life story? Pauli Girl says, “Eccchhh! He was terrible looking!” But, was he good to you?

Caption contributed by Albert

The best thing I can say about the mole suit is that it’s more lifelike than the monster in Creature of Destruction.

Mrs. Mole says, “I certainly understand. Frogs are terrible looking.” Well, I guess both of them are shallow, then. “We moles think they are filthy creatures! If you are going to marry anyone, it should be a mole!” Man, I didn’t know bigotry was so prevalent in the animal kingdom.

Pauli Girl suddenly transforms into the Liberated Feminist and says, “I really wasn’t counting on marrying anyone! I am just getting started in life! There are so many things to see, that I hadn’t really thought of settling down!” I mean, I still need to backpack across Europe! And get really drunk in a London pub! And have some Scottish guy with bad teeth hold my head over a toilet while I puke!

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Multi-Part Article: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972)

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