Mar 15, 2021
Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972) (part 2 of 11)
We then abruptly cut to a palm tree. We hear a heavily narcotized female narrator inform us that, “There’s a very good reason [long pause] for Santa not being there!”
The narrator continues, speaking very slowly while putting emphasis on random words. “Of all places for Santa to be in his sleigh… stuck in the sands… thousands of miles from the North Pole… way down in Florida. And… without his reindeer! Because they were so hot! They took off to the North Pole!” Well, from what we saw, there’s a lot more to graze on up there, so who can blame them?
We then pan over and see Santa’s sleigh sitting on the beach, buried in a intimidating three inches of sand. We then zoom in on an disheveled, seemingly drunk Santa Claus as he despondently leans on his knee.
He then takes off his Santa hat and begins fanning himself. The narrator tells us that “Santa was mighty uncomfortable! Because the sun in Florida was certainly a lot hotter than any sun at the North Pole!” (Emphasis not added.) Um, how many suns are there at the North Pole? We then see Santa look up, which is followed by a great shot where the camera is pointed directly into the sun for half a minute.
“Poor Santa!” Narrator Chick says. “What… would… he…. do?” (Oh, great, now she’s talking like the Confederate ghosts in Night of Horror.) Uh, I don’t know, but maybe taking off the coat might help for starters. We then pan down from the sun to find Santa still fanning himself with his hat.
After an eternity of silence, just when we thought we were rid of the narrator, we hear her say, “What a predicament! Well, first thing, Santa always has to be presentable [?]. So he put on his thinking cap!” Santa then puts his Santa Hat back on. Uh, is that really a “thinking cap”?