Robin Thicke Demonstrates How Not To Get Your Wife Back (Video)
Conventional wisdom says that one terrible way to get your estranged wife back is to shoot a seemingly naked video with another woman, who is younger and will at some point appear in weird Native American redface. But! Robin Thicke has never been a fan of conventional wisdom! He’s a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker, don’t you mess around with him! Thus do we receive the glorious gift of his debut video from his new album “Paula.” The song is called “Get Her Back.” This video is peppered with text messages that look like bad YouTube annotations and that we are meant to assume (I think?) are between Robin and Paula Patton, the wife he’s been with since they both were teens in Los Angeles. Also he has weird blood smeared on his face at certain points? What is happening here?
Okay, but check this out: what if he’s not trying to get her back in his life, BUT get her back, as in revenge? (Thanks to Ben Pobije for making this theory swirl round in my brain, btw.) The lyrics would seem to indicate that Robin wants to get Patton back and “treat her right, whoa, cherish her for life” but the video seems to work on a counterintuitive basis. I mean, if my hypothetical husband and I broke up, and then he made a video with some hot young thing writhing about wearing weird Mexican Day of the Dead masks and also there was a lot of drowning imagery and also no one was wearing clothes, I wouldn’t be like, “Oh, that is so sweet, that girl looks like a younger version of ME! I must return to him!” I would be like, “NO GROSS STOP YUCK EW” and I would run far far away. And you’d think that if we’d been together since we were teenagers, he would realize that my reaction would not be favorable.
But that’s just me! I am not beautiful actress and USC film school graduate Paula Patton! I am just Sara Benincasa, your EIC here at Happy Nice Time People, and I am full of confusion about Robin Thicke’s intent here. What do you think? Tell me in the comments!