Road House (1989) (part 2 of 15)

Late ’80s blues-rock plays behind the opening credits. Credits, which I should add, are bright pink. Thanks, movie. Way to bring the decade back to me, in brutal detail.

We learn it’s “A Silver Pictures Production” as the camera pans down a neon sign that shows the word “BANDSTAND” beside a piano keyboard. Yes, we’re at that famous club, the Bandstand. You’ve been there, right?

In the parking lot, a red Ferrari Testarossa pulls up, with its conspicuously retractable headlights. The driver’s door opens, and out steps a pair of black stilettos. Ferraris and stilettos: there’s no better way to set the mood for what we’re about to experience.

Never mind that the parking lot is strangely very damp, and never mind that there’s no possible way a woman could operate a motor vehicle with stilettos that thin. This is not the time or the place to wonder about such things. For the next 114 minutes, you are firmly strapped into Road House World. Keep your hands and arms inside of the ride at all times.

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Multi-Part Article: Road House (1989)

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  • susmart3

    This is the funniest and most detailed review I have ever read about any movie. It took me longer to read the review than see the movie. THAT is dedication. I watch for Mr Swayzee’s magnificent body. Which you didn’t mention nearly enough. In my opinion.

  • Chris Evans

    Excellent, excellent review.

    As this movie seems to be on every other week it is great to read such a well written hilarious review.

    Really one of my favorite ‘bad’ movies ever.


  • Tinker’s 4th Cuz Once Removed

    Funny essay, dude. I’ve been laughing for almost two hours here (took two hours to read because I was laughing uncontrollably so often). Glad I live in a world with both these gems in it: Roadhouse and your review. Thank you.

  • Badger

    Just got to say, the comments about not finding out Elizabeth’s full name is showing stupidity in the writer of this article which for the most part was helpful though. In the first meeting with her she announces herself as Doctor Clay. Could it be more obvious that’s her last name then? Elizabeth Clay. I didn’t read the rest of the article because the tone was in the negative of this awesome movie.
    Additional thought: Roof sex is totally hot, especially warm American nights, it was country song all over.