Retirement Home Meth Lab Proves Seniors Can Do It All!

Retirement Home Meth Lab Proves Seniors Can Do It All!

These ones run the escort service.

Forget the raging case of chlamydia Grandma got from that whore Mr. Mendelbaum, there’s a new HIDDEN DANGER LURKING in your friendly neighborhood retirement community: meth labs! Why, it’s almost as if the mini-mansions of Agrestic aren’t the only “unlikely” place to get your illicit drug deal on!

Police and residents of a retirement community were stunned that a 64-year-old Northern California man arrested during a traffic stop was accused of cooking methamphetamine inside his apartment at the facility for seniors.

What’s to be stunned about, police and residents? Seniors FUCKING LOVE DRUGS.

While conducting a search of [Robert] Short’s car, officers found 4 ounces of crystal meth, plastic bags and an electronic scale, Sgt. Brian Valles said.

No no no, officer, those four ounces of meth were for personal use. Mr. Short, way to drug deal! Definitely nothing incriminating in your car you were riding around in, while on CONDITIONAL RELEASE FOR SELLING METH.

Meanwhile, Short’s neighbors at the California League-Fresno Village retirement home claim he totally kept to himself, and they definitely weren’t copping from him every morning before dinner.

“I would never guess that anything like that would go on at a senior citizen village,” tenant Robin Schramek said.

Robin Schramek has had one hundred fourteen illegal immigrants trafficked through his or her basement.


You may also like...

  • ginos_way

    Pro tip: We here in the real northern California (anywhere north of Sacramento) profoundly resent when anything called “Fresno” is said to be in the north. That there would be central California, and the only reason a denizen of Fresburg calls himself a northern Californian is to deny he’s only three hours from LA. Politically, though, it’s all the same. The politics of the central valley from Tehachapi to Yreka are as stupid and red as in Kansas or Oklahoma.

  • DeSwiss

    The medicinal marijuana must not be cutting it. :-/

  • mtn_philosoph

    What the hell is a middle-aged (64 y.o.) man doing living in a place for old folks anyway? Oh, OK, I get it — a less obvious place for a lab. (But the authorities found him anyway.)

  • ilea vazan

    where is the white person in this picture?

  • ppi23

    “While conducting a search of R.Short’s car, officers found 4 ounces of crystal meth” — Or as Grandma likes to call it, a Quarter-Pounder