Red Zone Cuba (1966) (part 2 of 9)
Some public domain classical music starts up as we then cut to an extreme wide shot of a big blob of flesh running across hills, and then the title of the movie comes flying at us. This blob of flesh, as it turns out, is Coleman Francis, the director and star of this movie. Meanwhile, there’s a total jump cut to a train rolling down the tracks. It’s pretty sad when a movie can’t even get through its opening credits without a jump cut. The classical music fades out, only to be replaced by minor chords being frantically strummed on an electric guitar. The film then begins its imbecilic Fugitive-style opening credits wherein the actors’ faces and names are both flashed on-screen at the same time.
First up is the star of our show, auteur Coleman Francis himself, who we find ducking down into some weeds on the other side of a barbwire fence. Next up is fellow cinematic genius Tony Cardoza, who we see talking MOS directly into the camera while wearing a dorky cowboy hat. Receiving third billing in this movie (and hence, becoming the third most worthless person to have ever been alive) is Harold Saunders. Harold is looking around warily while wearing a goofy Savino cap, like he just wandered off the set of Newsies.