Feb 4, 2019
Red Zone Cuba (1966) (part 1 of 9)
The Cast of “Characters”:
Griffin (Coleman Francis). A shapeless, formless mass of flesh who wanders cross-country and arbitrarily beats people up. Breaks out of jail to team up with two drifters named Landis and Cook. Responsible for a significant percentage of the worst films ever made.
Landis (Tony Cardoza). Taking time off from the lucrative field of picking fruit in order to realize his life’s ambition of becoming a drifter. Teams up with Griffin and Cook on a rather blasé killing spree. Also to blame for a significant percentage of the worst movies ever made.
Cook (Harold Saunders). Forms an uneasy alliance with Landis and Griffin in order to randomly brutalize people, liberate the citizens of Cuba, and freeze his balls off in the back of a convertible.
Bailey Chastain (Tom Hanson). Sweaty, large-toothed quasi-military man. Owns a tungsten mine that the three drifters eventually attempt to plunder. Discovers the cure for gangrene in a Cuban POW camp.
Ruby Chastain (Lanell Cado). Bailey Chastain’s wife. Feeds and clothes more bums than the United Way. When the drifters come to plunder her husband’s mine, she kindly points them in the right direction and even gives them shovels.
Cherokee Jack (George Prince). Before meeting this character, I was afraid that having nothing more than a third-grade education would prevent me from ever obtaining a pilot’s license. My mind has now been put at ease.
Mr. Wilson (John Carradine). The long-awaited answer to the question, “When is a grown man allowed to wear overalls?” The answer? When he’s the most washed-up actor in history and there’s nothing he won’t do for a paycheck.