Red Heat (1988) (part 4 of 4)

Back at his hovel, the desk clerk dutifully delivers messages to Danko. It turns out Cat wants to get off scot-free, and will give up Rosta for the promise of immunity. Meanwhile, as Ridzic is working overtime for the first time in his life to finish paperwork, he gets a voicemail from his ex-brother-in-law, who needs to talk about his sister. Wow, that was such a completely random and benign occurrence that it must not mean a thing.

And remember that whole “key” intrigue from earlier? You may have forgotten, because it’s been nearly seven minutes since anyone mentioned or looked at the key, but now it looms in the forefront once again. In his room, Danko is staring at the key. Across the street, Rosta and a room full of hoods are all watching him with binoculars, because one of Moscow’s Finest obviously wouldn’t think to draw his shades at night.

The hoods watch him hide the key in the bezel of the overhead light. Which is clever on numerous fronts.

Rosta now returns to face the slimy desk clerk, who asks if he wants his old room back (#303), but this is utter foolishness. Danko is staying in that room! It’s right there in the ledger! Rosta beats the clerk unconscious and marches upstairs, telling the gang members to break into room #302.

In #302, they encounter a hooker in bed, leaving us to grapple with the concept of the stoic Ivan Danko succumbing to Western vices during his brief stay. Or did he? The prostitute tells them he’s in the bathroom, and they open fire on the door. A pudgy white guy falls to the floor, dead from lead poisoning. One hood shouts that Viktor set them up, but he doesn’t explain how exactly they were set up, or for what purpose.

But it appears Viktor wanted the key for himself, and here logistics go out the window like a fat Samoan at a Russian bath house. Danko hears the gunshots and leaves his room. Meanwhile, Viktor walks down a long hallway, even though he only needs to get to the room next door, and somehow they never pass each other.

Viktor goes into room #303 and retrieves the key, while Danko encounters the hoods and enjoys a gunfight. Danko is almost killed, but the hooker pulls a gun and wastes the last guy. Danko and Viktor are now stalking each other, and Danko is given away when his watch alarm goes off. Somehow, Viktor couldn’t locate him before that, even though the hooker was beside him the whole time, chattering away like a parakeet.

Then something really odd occurs. For all the fun to be had watching Jim Belushi burn shoe leather throughout this movie, the award for the goofiest running actually goes to Schwarzenegger.

Caption contributed by Martini Shark

“This is me, running and acting!”

Viktor escapes by being the fourth person in this film to jump out of a window. Danko can only watch as Viktor splashes into the river below.

To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
This is an archived post. This post is available to patrons who pledge at least $2 on Patreon. Pledging this amount gives access to all archived articles published after 2010. (For access to articles older than 2010, pledge at least $5.)

Click “Unlock with Patreon” to sign up with Patreon or to log in with your existing Patreon account.
Already a qualifying Patreon member? Refresh to access this content.
Multi-Part Article: Red Heat (1988)

You may also like...