Recipe: Kickass Easy Pesto Sandwich

Recipe: Kickass Easy Pesto Sandwich
Dear Smoochie Poopsie Chimpanzees: I’m making sammiches for you and meez!

First, we have to stop at the store for a few things. We are going to need a loaf of Italian bread, something with integrity. It should be hefty, dense and un-sliced. We need fresh mozzarella balls – the kind in water, because it tastes amazing. I will also need deli turkey, sliced thin. Do not get the turkey loaf kind. I don’t want to talk about why not, because I can’t without catching a hitchhiker in the back of my throat. Just get some smoked turkey breast. Last, grab a jar of roasted red peppers.

Now we need to make some pesto, because my basil is growing like crazy. We’re just going to make a little, for a sandwich spread. Here’s how:

1 c. packed basil leaves, washed and drained
Couple turns of olive oil
2 garlic cloves, peeled, coarsely chopped
1 tbsp. pine nuts
Some grated Parmesan and Romano cheese
Salt and pepper

I add a little bit of parsley and some fresh rosemary leaves to mine, because I am the wild woman of Borneo! You don’t have to be me, but it sure is fun if you have these herbs on hand. Put everything in a blender or food processor and make a paste. Take a taste! Does it need anything – are you OK with the texture? Adjust as needed, blend some more and then hang on to your hat – things are about to happen!

Slice up the Italian bread and spread some pesto on there. You get to choose how thick you want the bread, which is pretty awesome. Screw you, industrial bread slicers! Layer on the turkey, shreds of roasted red peppers, and fat slices of fresh mozzarella. You will need to pat the cheese and the peppers dry, but don’t worry if they’re still acting sloppy. The bread is going to sop that business up juuuuust riiiiiiiiight.

That there is damn sandwich. You can even feed these to vegetarians, minus the turkey, and they will go bug wild for it, too! How long did that even take? Like, what – five minutes? At least.

Serve this sandwich with some escarole and bean soup, or even some of that chicken noodle soup in the freezer.
Pesto sandwiches open up all kinds of sandwich possibilities. You can use salami instead of turkey. You can pair it with sliced pears. You can even serve it with nothing but sliced beefsteak tomatoes. There is a time and place for mayonnaise, but not today.

Have a great week!

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  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Looks and sounds great. I know you’ve got a ton of basil, so I’m turning the comments into a recipe hub!Pesto Cheese Ball-Extra garlicky pesto-2 tbsp butter-1 package cream cheese-1/2 cup grated parmasean like cheese product-Toasted pine nutsZippity-doo-dah-day the first four ingredients together in your food processor.Form into a ball and wrap tightly in plastic wrap (butter you hands first).Before serving, roll the ball in the pine nuts, and stick a fresh sprig of basil, one with a flower on it, right on the top of that motherfucker.Put it on crackers. Put it on a slice of Mojopo’s leftover bread and broil it. Try to find someone to kiss you with your super garlic breath.

    • Mojopo

      OMG, trying that as soon as I get back from vacay. Can’t talk now, covered in sting ray sperms.

      • glasspusher

        If I had a nickel for every time I heard that excuse…

  • Jack Haldane

    I just snipped some basil into a Greek salad. Nummers, as the young folks say these days.

  • rebecca


  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I thought that was tomato and avocado, judging from the picture. What about that? Could that be a thing?

    • Zyxomma

      Yes, that is definitely a thing. As a gourmet vegan (no, Anthony Bourdain, that is NOT an oxymoron), I make vegan pesto all the time during basil season: Love, basil, parsley, garlic, nutritional yeast, Kalamata olives (the yeast and olives substitute for cheese), pine nuts (or raw pistachios), and Himalayan salt, with as much extra virgin olive oil as it takes to make a creamy blend (either in the Vitamix or a food processor). I slather it on avocado slices and tomatoes, and it’s aces. I also use it as a sauce on rawvioli (live foodists know what that is). Health and peace.

  • Brendan_M

    My mom used to make me a very similar sandwich for school lunches (we used to have pizza day and cheese bread day during the school week…it was disgusting). She’d toast the pine nuts for pesto (as I do now that I make the family pesto) more often than not and often used focaccia bread. It was so good I tempted a vegetarian schoolmate to take a bite once; even though it was not an aggressive attempt on my part or anything, as a vegetarian now I feel a little guilty. I think I’d like to recreate this with maybe eggplant instead of the turkey.

  • glasspusher

    As long as you don’t cut my sandwich in half, I’m willing to negotiate.