Racists Wonder How America Can Still Be Free If White Lady Doesn’t Win Beauty Pageant

Racists Wonder How America Can Still Be Free If White Lady Doesn't Win Beauty PageantSo, you likely weren’t paying attention to the Miss America pageant Sunday night because it is 2013 and there’s still a Miss America pageant, really? Apparently there are some other people that have much more complex feels about it, mostly because the white lady didn’t win:

Miss New York, Nina Davuluri was crowned Miss America 2014 tonight at the birthplace of the legendary competition in Atlantic City’s Boardwalk Hall, broadcast live on ABC. Nina became the second consecutive contestant from New York and the first contestant of Indian descent to win the Miss America Competition.

Are racist people upset by this turn of events? HELL YES THEY ARE. You can head on over to Buzzfeed for a collection of predictably depressing bits and bobs from twitter: she’s an Arab! she’s a terrorist! she danced like an Egyptian! it is panthetic! (nope, not a typo on our part.)


What seems to be giving white people the greatest amount of sad is that there was some corn-fed Middle America white lady who was a rootin’ tattooin’ shootin’ WHITE LADY THANKYOUVERYMUCH. The fix was in, we tell you, because white lady was not allowed to do her most talent-y talent at the talent show:

FOX411: You had to change your talent at the last minute.

Vail: I wanted to do archery, I wasn’t allowed. I had to pick up singing. I guess the Miss America organization has an insurance clause against projectile objects.

Why does the Miss America pageant hate freedom? Why is it breaking America’s heart by not letting this lady shoot things on stage? Donald Trump and his yooge, classy Miss USA pageant that is so much yooger and classier than broke-ass old Miss America would NEVER have made this lady not shoot stuff near people’s faces! Why on earth are we even writing about this?

We were going to provide you pictures of these ladies so you could decide for yourselves about their talent and beauty, but then we realized that our feelings about Miss America pageants run the gamut of emotions from meh to actual repulsion. Also, too, you had to be a “verified” member of the media and/or pay the organization to get pictures and neither of those things are ever ever going to happen.

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