Only One Day Left To Set Your Tivo For ‘Sex Sent Me To The ER’

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Everyone knows that only the bestest shows premiere during the fallow period between Christmas and New Year’s, when everyone watches teevee in a dull haze of alcohol, sloth, and food regret. What better time to shine?! That’s why TLC tucked Sex Sent Me To The ER under a bushel with a Saturday, December 28 (tomorrow! yay!!) debut.

In its premiere, TLC’s new series Sex Sent Me to the ER spotlights Greg, a 24-year-old virgin who weighs in at 440 pounds. When Greg and his girlfriend, Jen, decides to take their relationship to the next level, things go horribly awry when he accidentally sends her headfirst through the wall — and ultimately to the ER.

Wacky! Hijinks! Awkward retellings! Oh god, wait. Not just awkward retellings. Did you want a show where poor sad people who moved to California to act but are instead doing closed-captioning transcription (nobody can get a job waiting tables anymore) finally land an acting job but that acting job is re-enacting life-threatening yet comic sexual mishaps? This show is for you!

The eternal sadness of answering a casting call for “400-pound virgin who shoves girlfriend’s head through wall accidentally during sex” is almost unfathomable. Better to have landed the coveted “staged lady catfight” role:

Apparently the doctor with a Bruce Jenner haircut is NOT an actor, which leads us to the inevitable question, “dude why is that your real everyday hair?”

The series kicks off with a mere 4 episodes, but some TLC production manager has already threatened there could be more of them.

“There is no shortage of OMG or LOL,” she sums up, noting that there are plenty more tales to tell if there are additional episodes. “People have been willing to share many stories with us and we hope that the series will spark more dialogue.”

If there’s a god in heaven, there will soon be critical shortages of OMG and LOL so that this thing stays limited to 4 episodes, because if it goes to a full season we might have to recap it, and that’s a fate that rivals death.

[Hollywood Reporter/Mother Nature Network]

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