Three Possible Reasons All These People Are Fleeing The New York Times

Three Possible Reasons All These People Are Fleeing The New York Times

You all know how much we love us some New York Times, but soon there will literally be no one left there to write anything. Oh, god, but Maureen Dowd will probably get to run the whole paper and that will be some end times level shit.

Today brings us news that a trifecta of NYT folks have left for greener pastures that are not the New York Times. Hugo Lindgren, the Magazine editor, has quit or got fired or quitfired. Why, you ask? Could it be his nonsense hiring and firing of people, including hiring that lady who only lasted a year as The Ethicist? Nah. Probably was because of Jill Abramson‘cuz everyone knows that working for bitches is hard.


Brian Stelter, the New York Times media industry digital new media reporter correspondent who is not David Carr, is bailing out of the NYT to go to CNN and host “Reliable Sources.” Yes, picking up a teevee show that Howard Kurtz — HOWARD KURTZ, PEOPLE — dumped to go be a Fox News guy is a surefire path to success and prestige. Stelter had said before that he’d never leave the Times for a teevee job, but he probably had no choice because of what how his lady boss was flouncing around being all ladylike and hysterical.

Things must be getting really bad over in the NYT newsroom, because their chief political correspondent for the Magazine, Matt Bai, is going to…Yahoo!? Wait, what? Is that actually a thing? You had a big dick-swinging hard news job at the NYT and you were in America’s Best Political Writing and you have major books you’ve written and you go on the teevee for Meet the Press, and you’re heading over to a place that announces your hiring via Tumblr? Since Yahoo! is a fall-down-a-canyon step down from the Times Magazine, we can only assume he left because of how Jill Abramson is so unreasonable because of how she wants people to do work and listen to her. Ladies are the worst, amirite???

In todays The Awl, Choire Sicha has a list of 14 possible people that should replace Lindgren at the magazine, but a bunch of them are ladies so what does he know? Everyone knows that ladies are impossible to work with or for or near, so unless Choire is rooting for another Times bloodbath, he better think of an all-dude lineup because that is how God intended newspapers should be run.

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