Pink Lady... and Jeff “Episode #2” (part 2 of 2)
Having dragged that punch line out way longer than they needed to, we switch back to the main stage to meet Donny Osmond, who goes on about how it’s healthy for a team to spend time apart. Holy gophers, a callback joke! I never thought they had it in them.
The girls decide they like Donny better than Jeff, so he backs off while the three of them do Donna Summer’s “Heaven Knows”. The girls leave after the first verse, and man, Donny’s just as dull as I remember him. Incidentally, by starting as a group and paring down to one person, they’ve done the exact opposite of the original song, which was a duet with Joe Esposito. Yes, that Joe Esposito.
Oh, wait, he’s segued into Dionne Warwick’s “I’ll Never Love This Way Again”. A bland song for a bland singer. Now if we could just get him to run for MP of Dunny-on-the-Wold.
He blands it up for a bit, only for the girls to rejoin him for “We Are Family”. I’m not upset; getting upset with a variety show doing something this idiotic is like drinking two Monster BFC’s in a row and then getting mad that you have the junkie shakes.
And while Mie and Kei singing Sister Sledge is almost as awesomely out-there as Kronos Quartet doing an entire album of Rahul Dev Burman songs, that still doesn’t change the fact that they’re butchering a song America was sick of the day after it came out! With Donny Osmond, no less.
I get the feeling this episode and I aren’t operating on a level of mutual respect. Let’s try this again.
Donny sings lead as the girls provide Exhibit C in the case of why Japanese pop singers should stay as far away from soul as possible, all three of them nearly drowned out by the audience clapping in rhythm. Now, I know none of these three were exactly hinging their careers on being able to belt them out, but you shouldn’t be overpowered by your own back-up singers, who aren’t even on camera!