The Perfect Cast for the "Full House" Lifetime Original Movie, Which Is Really a Thing

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the Full House revival making headlines, Lifetime has just announced an unauthorized behind-the-scenes original movie about the show, and we wish we were joking, but no. But if it’s going to happen–and it is–then why not join in on the fun? Here’s our picks for the best possible The Unauthorized Full House Story cast:

casting bob saget

You already accept these two as interchangeable, right? As the narrator on How I Met Your Mother, Bob Saget provided the voice of an older Josh Radnor, and now it’s time for Josh Radnor to be the face of a younger Bob Saget. Plus, Radnor can use his experience as the most central yet least interesting character his sitcom to really capture what it is to be 1990s Bob Saget.

casting stamos

Who could possibly follow John Stamos? Jerry O’Connell, apparently. We’re really just trusting Rebecca Romijn on this one.

casting coulier

Sorry, Dave Coulier, we’re going with Jeff Dunham. Once you’re the guy with the puppets, you’ll always be the guy with the puppets. Do they have anything else in common? I don’t know; was Uncle Joey a racist dick?

casting laughlin

Buffy’s Charisma Carpenter gets the nod as Lori Loughlin, but mostly for the hair and constant head tilt.

casting cameron

Picking a Candice Cameron was surprisingly easy. Sadie Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame will really get what it means to be a hyper-evangelical Christian in the Hollywood spotlight, and she’ll help all the other cast members get in character by showing them what it’s like to work with a hyper-evangelical Christian in the Hollywood spotlight.

casting other one

SNL alum Chris Kattan not only captures Jodie Sweetin’s sweet little girl smile but also her ability to be completely overlooked and forgotten.

casting kimmy

Poor Andrea Barber. If all you need is someone to look confused and have 90s hair, I think this dog has you covered.

casting olsens 2

Andy Serkis–Gollum himself–was originally slated to play Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen using the latest motion capture CGI technology… but it turns out that’s expensive as hell, so the producers went with their second choice, Mr. Howie Mandell.

casting olsens

Nailed it.

Who do you think would be the ideal cast for the cast of Full House?

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