Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979) (part 6 of 7)

We cut to the back of a really old guy’s head as he’s on the phone, yelling at Jameson. “Why am I paying you all this money for security?” Which is the first sensible question anyone’s asked in this whole worthless movie. Even though we don’t see his face, we find out that he’s the mysterious “Mr. Walker” of Walker Industries. Naturally, Mr. Walker doesn’t want “that tape” to get into “the wrong hands”. So, wait a second. Are we really supposed to believe Richard smuggled the videotape about cloning out of Clonus? That’s, in a word, impossible. We never saw him carrying it, and he certainly doesn’t have any pockets that could possibly hold something that big.

But, smuggle the tape out he did, because in the next scene, Jake, Older Richard, Younger Richard, and Rick are all watching it. When the video finishes, Older Richard tells Younger Richard to get up and lift up his shirt. This immediately brought to mind that gay gigolo scenario I mentioned earlier, but instead it turns out that Younger Richard has a big brown birthmark about the size of Texas just below his nipple. “It’s true,” Older Richard says, “He is a clone, my clone!” He lifts his own shirt, exposing a similar birthmark. You know, I never knew that the size and placement of birthmarks on a person were genetically determined. Huh. I guess you learn something new every day.

Caption contributed by Albert

Older Richard. Not to be confused with Richard the Lionhearted, Pool Hall Richard, or Little Richard.

Caption contributed by Albert

Yet another entry on the big list of Things I Never Needed to See in My Life.

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Multi-Part Article: Parts: The Clonus Horror (1979)

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