Feb 13, 2018
Parenthood Recap: The Big Finish, Now With Lesbians!
We’ve been leading up to this recap for months, and it’s finally the season finale for the Bravermans. Amber is by Ryan’s side as he is laid up in the hospital after an accident while deployed overseas; Drew and Natalie are officially an item; Sarah and Hank continue to get closer despite his possible Asperger’s diagnosis; Kristina and Adam are progressing toward starting their own charter school; Julia is moving on without Joel; Crosby is broke because he sucks with tools; and Camille and Zeek sold their house. Whew. Now to tackle this week’s comings and goings.
Remember the long lost daughter of Adam (Peter Krause) and Kristina (Monica Potter) who pretty much no one has mentioned since she left for college way back when? It was very “Happy Days” (remember Richie’s older brother?
She’s home, and she’s brought a friend, Lauren (played by fashion blogger extraordinaire Tavi Gevinson). Haddie’s (Sarah Ramos) hair is tousled and blonde, a little grungy, and she’s wearing trashy looking eyeliner. She’s looking a little worldlier since spreading her wings, so you know what that means: She’s totally gay.
Her new very special best friend who she brought home to meet her parents is actually her girlfriend. It doesn’t take long for Max (Max Burkholder) to walk in on them playing tongue hockey.
Later, while Max and Kristina are shopping for a graduation suit, Max drops the bomb in his usual matter of factness. “If two girls are kissing, does that mean they are lesbians?” Max asks his mother. Kristina tries to get some more information out of Max, but that isn’t really happening. But there’s not many more clues needed.
Kristina approaches Hattie for The Talk while Lauren is out for a run. “I want you to know how much I support you, and I will always be here for you, so if you ever want to talk about things or, uh,” Kristina says trailing off. It only takes a second for Haddie to figure out that Max told.
And there it is, it’s out. They’re dating. She knows her parents are open-minded, but she didn’t want to freak them out. But of course Kristina is rad. “I would never be upset with you for following your heart,” she says. “And I mean that. I love you no matter what.”
Adam catches drifts pretty well, too. And of course it’s cool. They’re the Bravermans.
Victor (Xolo Mariduena) won an essay contest at school, which is huge. Joel (Sam Jaeger) and Julia (Erika Christensen) struggled at the beginning of the season about whether or not to hold their newly-adopted son Victor back a grade in school, and now they are receiving some validation that they made the right decision. And it’s kickass for Victor’s self-esteem.
And as it turns out, said essay is about working on Zeek’s (Craig T. Nelson) Pontiac GTO with him and improving his reading skills while reading the automobile manual out loud to gramps. The celebratory congrats are in full effect, and no one could possibly be any happier.
Victor reads his essay about the Pontiac in front of the school, with his family in the audience. He talks about how working on the GTO turned out to be one of the best things to ever happen to him because he got to spend so much time with his grandpa Zeek and be on the receiving end of the Zeek wisdom nuggets. The celebration leads to a family outing, complete with both Joel and Julia, to the frozen yogurt shop. They are beaming.
After, Joel goes back to the house with Julia and the kids, and just as he’s getting ready to leave, Sydney (Savannah Paige Ray) begs him not to go, pleads and freaks out crying. You know where this is going. She gets her way. He stays to tuck her in, and he and Julia both pile into bed with her to tell the story of Sydney being born. And they have their smiley, nostalgic moment where they and we wonder if….
And we’re just wondering how long it will take before he loses his shit because his wife fucked some other dude. And it doesn’t sound like that dude is disappearing anytime soon.
Sarah’s Hankering For Hank
After last week’s Hank (Ray Romano) heroics—driving Amber (Mae Whitman) all the way to San Diego after she finds out that her former fiancé Ryan (Matt Lauria) was in an accident—Sarah (Lauren Graham) is even more impressed when Hank continues to hang out at the hospital to sit watch over the waiting room.
Hank and Sarah head back to Berkeley in traffic, and Hank decides to bring up the big “tomato” in the room while they are stuck face to face and there is no where to go if things don’t go as he hopes. He asks if she wants to give it another shot.
“It’s complicated,” Sarah says. The Asperger’s thing worries her because she needs more eye contact and communication from a partner. “It wouldn’t be a small thing to try again. It would be a big thing.”
After they’re home, Sarah stops back in to see Hank and lays a big fat, wet one on him without saying a word. Hank makes eye contact pretty easily if you know what we mean. There’s no more tomato in the room.
Ryan’s mom (Annabeth Gish) shows up without warning at the hospital, the same mother who Ryan was so adamant about not inviting to the wedding back when there was going to be a wedding. “Of course I’m here, I’m your mom, or did you forget?” she asks smarmily. And it turns out, she has no idea who Amber is at all, let alone that the cute gal was nearly her daughter-in-law. Hmmmm. Plot thickened.
Ryan’s mom definitely is not the doting type. She’s pretty sure he’s fine, even if the doctors are worried about the possibility of internal bleeding. And she’s not exactly mother-in-law material either. Basically, she’s a bitch, and she’s pissed that Amber told the hospital that she was Ryan’s wife so she could stay with him.
“Why are you still here?” she asks, shittily (getting the picture?). She’s planning on signing Ryan out of the hospital and whisking him back to Wyoming, the place he totally hates. He’s been discharged from the army unbeknownst to Amber.
Amber gets to see Ryan and tells him she knows about the discharge. “I was stupid,” he says. “I was out partying, and the sun came up.” He drove in for work and was still drunk. He rolled his truck. He’s screwed, but he did get a medical discharge.
Ryan tells Amber he is planning to go back to Wyoming. He doesn’t feel like he has other options. “This isn’t for you to fix,” he tells Amber tenderly while he comforts her from his hospital bed. They hold each other and cry, and clearly things are not over. They start dry humping. Next we see Amber, she’s shopping for a pregnancy test. He may not be going anywhere after all.
She Loves Him, He Loves Her Not?
So in what seems like seconds since Drew (Miles Heizer) and Natalie (Lyndon Smith) decided to make their relationship official, she’s leaving for Portland for summer break. Sucks to be Drew, except just as she gets on the bus she turns around and says she loves him.
Awww. And he waves goodbye. Ah, yeah, it does suck to be Drew after all. He was dumbfounded.
Picking up on the megasulking, Zeek offers up the GTO for Drew to drive to Portland to see his girlfriend. “From the very beginning, I was doing this for you,” Zeek tells him as he hands over the keys to the pristine classic. “It’s yours.” And just like that, Drew’s life totally rules.
Home is Where the Art Is
Zeek wrangles his sons into helping their parents move with their delicate music business hands. And it’s going to take a while, because Camille (Bonnie Bedelia) wants to keep every keepsake and nostalgic item she’s come across.
Adam gets in touch with his anger over his parents selling the house. Crosby (Dax Shepard), on the other side of the rage, helps Adam through memory lane and turns the stairway into a mattress sledding expedition complete with old football helments. They quickly turn regress to childhood.
The Times They Are A Changin’
All of the Bravermans who are in town pitch in to finish up the move as the Dylan song plays over the action. Camille and Zeek have one last dance in their dining room before heading out. And the Bravermans immediately start making memories at the new house, complete with awesome dinner table al fresco and pretty lights. Things may be changing, but plenty remains the same.