Apr 7, 2014
Parenthood Recap: Get High With Some Bravermans
Life has been rough as of late for the Bravermans. In case you’ve been so caught up in your own drama that you forgot about what your favorite Berkeley bunch have been dealing with, here’s a lil’ recap.
Julia and Joel are still splitsville. Natalie’s been rebuffing Drew. Crosby and Camille are arguing about selling the house. Zeek has given up. Sarah and Hank’s working and personal relationship has become more of a thing. It’s unclear whether the two are headed back into each other’s arms. However, she did not high-tail it to Zimbabwe with a hotty and shirk her responsibilities based on actual good advice from Hank, regardless of what his motivations are.
There. You’re all caught up.
The Host File
Jamine’s (Joy Bryant) mother Renee (Tina Lifford) is pushing for a christening for little Aida. But Crosby (Dax Shepard) and Jasmine aren’t living at home because of toxic mold creeping all over their walls.
They’re living with Zeek (Craig T. Nelson) and Camille (Bonnie Bedelia) at his childhood home, HIS CHILDHOOD HOME, as he likes to remind his parents constantly when real estate lady Kare swings by to talk about selling it. This makes him mad, even though it’s the same house he absolutely doesn’t want to live in anymore for one teensy second, which he also likes to remind everyone.
Still, it’s not like Zeek and Camille don’t host every other family milestone under the twinkle lights of their beautiful backyard. C’mon. “I am sure Camille would love to put out some muffins for her grandbaby’s salvation,” Renee says.
Oh, but there’s the house. Oh, yea, the house is for sale, Crosby throws out there. That darn house being for sale ruins everything for everybody every time. STUPID HOUSE.
But she keeps on it, offering her place, which is apparently cramped and prolly doesn’t even have twinkle lights. And they keep at it, coming up with every excuse possible because Cros isn’t really the church-going type. This is how Renee finds out Joel (Sam Jaeger) and Julia (Erika Christensen), Aida’s godparents, split up.
And that is the sort of peril that they will bestow on their precious little girl if they do not get that kid baptized: the devil’s tomfoolery. And as for Joel? He’s out. “You do not want a god father who has one foot out the door,” Renee says. And that’s settled. Nice one, Crosby.
Camille and Jasmine have some together time. Jasmine tells Camille they’re going to have the brunch at her mother’s so as to not inconvenience Camille. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug. What Jasmine doesn’t realize is that Camille, like most mothers and grandmothers, loves to host that shit, especially because she has a big, rad house.
Crosby goes to Joel’s new apartment to talk to him about the whole not-being-the-godfather thing at Renee’s request. “I get it,” Joel says. Bad timing, this whole baptism thing. For what it’s worth though, Crosby tells Joel he hopes that he and his sister work things out. And Joel dies a little inside, too.
Joel tells Julia that he told Joel and he’s going to ask Adam (Peter Krause) instead, and not surprisingly that doesn’t go so well. She turns it into being all about her, and is even more hurt. “He didn’t ask about me at all?” she says holding back tears.
Camille finds Crosby tying one on in the covered patio. She tells him she sees his side and why the house is such a big deal to him, think that’s why Crosby doesn’t want to have brunch at her home. She offers to host the brunch, to which Crosby passively-aggressively tells her that, no, it’s really a big deal to Renee to host the brunch, which is not quite true.
This is where Men go wrong. They try to fix things without consulting the women. (Men, never try to fix things without consulting the women.) He continues to dig himself in deeper when his mother offers to host a dinner then, because it is also very important to her to host something for her grandbaby. “And this family could really use a celebration right now,” she says.
Crosby gives in, and there will now be a brunch and a dinner. That can’t possibly go wrong, right?
Julia calls Joel crying and making the entire thing into a much bigger deal than it was even shaping up to be. “Why aren’t you fighting for this,” Joel says. “Why aren’t you fighting for me?”
This is not about being godfather, he tells her begging her not to make this about that. It wasn’t his call. “Well, whenever you’re ready to fight for us, I’m here,” she tells him.
Crosby asks Adam to be Aida’s godfather, and he is totally in. But unfortunately, more confusion ensues because Adam thinks he was the first choice, and he really makes a big deal about his gratitude.
The next day Max (Max Burkholder) barges in while Sarah (Lauren Graham) and Hank (Ray Romano) are working and messes with the fancy, rented printer to work on his own photographs for the yearbook. When they tell him to stop, he doesn’t. Instead he keeps telling them it’s OK because his parents said it is OK if it is OK with Hank. This goes on for a while until he has a bit of a meltdown.
“You were a little harsh,” Hank tells Sarah the next day after Kristina (Monica Potter) calls to see if Sarah is there because if she is Max can’t go over. Sarah is oblivious.
Drew (Miles Heizer) stares lovingly at Natalie’s (Lyndon Smith) selfies, and then goes to hit her up for a nightcap. Berto (Nick Krause) answers the door and it turns out they’re both on the drunken naked gymnastics team now and they are practicing in bed.
Drew is pissed, and he lets Berto know back at their dorm room, except Berto thinks he’s all riled up because he ate Drew’s cashew butter and drank his Gatorade. Drew, who is a little more in touch with his feelings than ol’ Berto, is keenly aware of things on a more human level.
“If it upsets you that much, I totally don’t have to hit that,” Berto says. Asshole.
The future stockbroker takes his first opportunity to let Natalie know, which is while Drew is in the room. “I’ll pass,” Berto tells Natalie dimwittedly. Way to let her down easy, dude.
Natalie ignores him and goes on to tell Drew that he’s being a big baby about the entire thing since he is the one who disappeared for three weeks with his ex-girlfriend who was living in his room. Drew still insists on being upset because he is a big baby.
Berto, sagely doing stomach crunches one twin-sized bed over pipes in again. “Dude, I said I was sorry, too,” he says. “I even got my own cashew butter.”
Drew leans on his sister for support. The two talk at each other about their own problems and are completely too self-absorbed to even care what the other is going on about. But at least they are going through it together, sort of.
So they decide to get drunk and stoned. Or, well, Amber (Mae Whitman) does. Drew has never smoked the wacky-tobaccey before. “What?” Amber asks. “What are you even in college for?” So he imbibes.
Things get freaky and dark, and Drew starts quoting “Nausea” by Jean-Paul Sartre. Nothing has meaning. We make the meaning. This blows Amber’s chemically-altered mind until she is distracted by ice cream. Mom calls over and over to remind them that they are supposed to be at their grandparents home for the big ol’ baptism. Party foul.
Round One: Dinner
Max doesn’t want to be around Aunt Sarah. Adam and Sarah have some awkward moments, but he’s ready to hear her side. “It’s really important for him to be able to go to Hank’s when…” But Julia interrupts to thank Adam for filling in for Joel, crushing Adam’s spirit. Then he tells Sarah he’s irritated that she is saying that he doesn’t know how to set limits for Max.
Then Amber and Drew stumble into their grandparents home with faces covered in Visine. Renee toasts Camille and Zeek and the wonderful times she’s enjoyed in their home and tells them how sad she is that they are selling it.
See, only Crosby and Julia knew about the whole selling of the house thing. Everyone freaks out. And then Adam brings up his shock about finding out he was only the runner up in the whole Godfather pageant. And it’s possibly because he apparently doesn’t know how to raise children, ahem, Sarah.
Amber sucks on a green bean because it’s the most delicious green bean in the history of green beans and she is high.
And you know Kristina isn’t having that, pointing out that Ms. Sarah’s children, Cheech and Chong over there, are stoned out of their minds. No, no, that’s not it. Sara wasn’t asked because she doesn’t have a husband.
“None of this would have happened if this event wasn’t forced down everyone’s throat,” Crosby says, actually making some sense. “I’ve been going house to house disappointing my family members all so we can have this thing that doesn’t even need to happen right now.”
Renee points out that just because she wants to watch after her grandbaby’s soul and there’s all this drama does not mean her grandbaby has to suffer.
“She’s not suffering!” Crosby yells out, exasperated. He for one does not believe in a God that would send a baby to hell because nobody dipped her in some water, which is a good point.
Well, that’s all fine and good, but Julia would just like to apologize to everyone for not holding her marriage together long enough so as not to inconvenience the family and send her niece barreling toward hell.
Julia flees, and Zeek excuses himself to head over to Joel’s for a quick chat. “What the hell are you doing?” he asks very calmly in his Tao of Zeek way. He gets it. Joel’s mad. He doesn’t know the circumstances, but he doesn’t want to see Joel give up because of a rough patch.
“When I walked Julia down the aisle, I gave her to you,” Zeek says. “And I was so proud. And I was so sure, and still am, of the man I gave her to. I know what kind of guy he is.” Joel is his son, too. He wants him at the celebration, and you just know that meant the world to Joel, especially since I don’t recall ever seeing his parents around.
Sarah does not owe Max or anybody an apology, she says. But, Hank points out, remember how you were telling me the other day that you feel so good that you found something you are good at and that you enjoy doing? Well, that is probably how Adam and Kristina feel about Max and photography. Oooh, deep.
Hank’s trying to think more about how people feel, and he’s not bad at it. And he actually gets through to her with his whole storm, sea of life speech.
Potheads Drew and Amber get ready for the baptism, and they decide that Drew will start staying at the apartment and ditch all that drama back at the dorms.
Round Two: Church Bells
Sarah finds Kristina and Adam and tells them she rented the printer that Max likes so much for another week so he can use it. Did you hear that Max? Oh, Max is booked solid. Well, it truly is the thought that counts.
And then the christening goes off beautifully, and they all look around the room lovingly at all their family members, letting go of their drama. And then more drama walks in and sits in a pew in the back, but it’s the best kind of drama: Joel. And Renee mouths a big “Thank you” to Crosby, and you can tell he gets it.
It’s about family, even if yours is nuts. They’re your nuts. And they’re all committed.
And she’s adorable.