Overlords of the UFO (1976) (part 7 of 14)

Well, enough of that book. Hit me with some more tabloid headlines, UFO dude! This time, we see the cover of the National Star, with the headline “UFO PILOT HELD ME PRISONER”. Hilariously, they didn’t even bother to crop out the other headlines in the Star that week, which include “Cher knocks out Barbara Streisand” (‘Bout time Babs got cold-cocked—though, she did get infected with the bubonic plague once), “Do men want relief wives?” (What, like scabs, or something? I don’t get that one), and something about “Alice Cooper‘s TV shock show”. If this show included him performing his cover of the Beatles’ “Because”, then I know why people were shocked. And we don’t see the headline accompanying the photo on the front page, but in this photo is none other than Telly Savalas [!] with some unidentifiable actress. So, Kojak was held prisoner by a UFO? No wait, Kojak was held prisoner, then he was knocked out by Cher, who wants a relief wife? I’m all confused now.

Overlords of the UFO (1976) (part 7 of 14)

“Who abducts ya, baby?”

Oh yeah, the UFO story. So anyway, the “UFO kidnapping” victim in the headline is one “Carl Higdon”, and inside the Star is a photograph of him holding a rifle, apparently trying to show off his softer, romantic side. Either that, or he’s taking a trip to Dallas next month to shoot the president. The host says Higdon was interviewed by “the producers of this motion picture” (i.e., himself), and in another display of loopy grammar, the host says Higdon “furnished the artist’s conception of the android crewman from the UFO that kidnapped him”. Wait, what? Androids? When did androids suddenly become part of this equation? Was he kidnapped by Data? Do UFO occupants dream of electric sheep? And finally, who are the overlords of the androids?

To read the rest of this article, support the Agony Booth on Patreon.
This is an archived post. This post is available to patrons who pledge at least $5 on Patreon. Pledging this amount gives access to all archived articles on the Agony Booth.

Click “Unlock with Patreon” to sign up with Patreon or to log in with your existing Patreon account.
Already a qualifying Patreon member? Refresh to access this content.
Multi-Part Article: Overlords of the UFO (1976)

You may also like...