Dec 23, 2019
Night of the Lepus (1972) (part 5 of 10)
Cut to a forensics investigator, who also happens to be the only black guy in the movie, but luckily for him, it’s already too late to be the first one to die. He’s examining something under a microscope, while Sheriff Cody and a deputy watch from behind. The deputy refers to this guy as “Mr. Leopold”, and he has this to say.
Leopold: In the smallest of objects, one can often find a world of discovery. A microscopic view of the surface of a blunt weapon can lead to the arrest of a man halfway around the world!
Golly gee whiz! You don’t say! It’s like an episode of CSI, only excruciatingly lame! And I really have to wonder why Mr. Leopold thinks the trained law enforcement agents he’s talking to don’t already know all this stuff.
The deputy soon brings things around to the case at hand, mentioning the destroyed tin cans and crates they found around the truck driver. “They were not opened with an axe,” Leopold says. “They’ve been gnawed.” The deputies gasp in disbelief.
“Gnawed,” Leopold reaffirms, “Chewed, bitten.” Then he asks them to wait while he gets his thesaurus. Okay, not really. He says that traces of saliva were found on all the objects listed above, and lets Sheriff Cody take a gander through his microscope, but I don’t know why, because all Cody sees is something that looks like a giant space amoeba.
“So, what have we got here?” Cody asks. “Vampires?”
Leopold replies, “Possibly.” [!] Possibly vampires? Really? I’ll admit, the actual culprit will turn out to be something much goofier, but how are vampires actually a possibility here?
However, in Leopold’s “expert” opinion, the only thing that could have done this much damage is a “saber-toothed tiger. As a matter of fact… a lot of ‘em!” And do I even need to mention that saber-toothed tigers have been extinct for thousands of years? Seriously, is this guy on drugs or what? I’m thinking these lines were meant to be delivered sarcastically or jokingly, but neither the director nor the actor realized it.