Night of Horror (1981) (part 4 of 6)

We next find our good friends, the Three Minor Chords, makings their long-awaited reappearance on the soundtrack. In the back of the camper, Colleen looks pensive as she scribbles on a drawing pad. Suddenly, we see shots of a Confederate soldier on horseback, meaning Colleen is now having “visions”. She starts to draw what she sees, and it looks like a preschooler trying to draw the Wolfman. Or Geezer Butler.

Night of Horror (1981) (part 4 of 6)

Now we know why the North won the war: The Confederate Army used Cro-Magnons for most of the fighting.

Then we cut to Jeff sitting in the driver’s seat of the camper, stopped somewhere. He’s supposedly talking to Steve in this scene, but Steve is nowhere in the shot, lending more credence to the theory that scenes with Steve were shot on different days than the scenes with all of the other actors. (This is probably because he kept laughing at all the stupid dialogue.)

Anyway, Jeff basically looks like he’s bitching to himself as he gripes about suddenly finding himself lost. He says that on these country roads, “You can’t tell the streets from the ditches!” Jeff, I wouldn’t complain too much, because in your neighborhood, you can’t tell the boys from the girls. Finally, Jeff just decides to pick a road at random and head in that direction.

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Suddenly, it’s night, and we hear Steve’s voiceover tell us that the camper only got a couple of miles before breaking down. This is represented by a really lousy sound effect accompanying footage of the camper coming to a halt. Jeff gets out of the camper, and I do believe it’s now broad daylight again.

Night of Horror (1981) (part 4 of 6)

Sorry, there really isn’t much else in this movie to show you.

We hear Steve, somewhere offscreen, obviously unavailable on this day of shooting, as he says that it’s probably the muffler, and the whole exhaust system could be shot. Susan and Colleen come out, and Jeff tells them what happened. Colleen moans that she knew something like this would happen. Oh, okay. So where was your damn precognition before the camper broke down?

She asks if they’ll be able to make it to the cabin that night, and Jeff stares at her for ten seconds before finally telling her that they won’t. He says that they can camp here for the night, but Colleen flips out because “This place is wrong!” She then starts whining that she’s scared and wants to go home. Here’s hoping that when some bears attack during the night, they’ll eat her first.

Night of Horror (1981) (part 4 of 6)

This shot happened within ten seconds of the one above. Can anyone tell me what’s wrong here? Anyone?

“Baby, I’d love to go home,” Jeff says in a totally deadpan voice. “But [long pause] we’re stuck here until Steve can get that muffler fixed!” That would be the “stranded” part mentioned on the video box, in case you’re having trouble keeping up with this movie’s breakneck pace.

Later on, Steve climbs out from under the camper. “Well, Mr. Goodwrench?” Jeff lisps. “How long’sthhh it gonna be then?” I have a feeling that Steve could turn Jeff’s wrench any time. Steve says the prognosis isn’t good as he takes a swig of beer. Jeff asks him if he’s taking a coffee break. “Nope,” Steve says. “A beer break.” Then he hands the can to Jeff. “And not even a beer break! [?]” Jeff asks him where he’s going, but Steve just ignores him and wanders out into the woods somewhere.

A little later, Susan comes up to Jeff in the camper door and wants to talk about how scared Colleen is, reminding Jeff that, in college, she was “sensitive”. She says, “Colleen has… amplified her negative feelings from the… funeral and the reading of the will, to the point where she’s hearing… ghostly noises!” The actress’ delivery is extremely awkward here, almost as if she’s having a lot of trouble remembering the lines. I found this extremely odd, particularly given that she’s one of the people credited with writing the screenplay.

Night of Horror (1981) (part 4 of 6)

“Well, Mr. Goodbody? Oops, I mean Mr. Goodwrench, whoo-hooo!”

“And you can’t deny there is a funny feeling around here,” she says. Jeff queens out again, grimacing that Susan is getting “hysthhhterical” too. Susan says she’s not getting hysterical, then just goes on and on about how she used to put down Colleen’s “spiritualism”, thinking it was just a ploy for attention. She says Colleen was “always frail and weak”, bringing up two bouts of pneumonia that she had as a child, along with the fact that she’s now into “Yoga and meditation”. Yep, let’s hear the whole medical history, shall we? At this point, why not?

Anyway, the whole point of this tedium is for Susan to say that she thinks it’s “dangerous to keep her in this area!” And that’s the end of the scene. Are we supposed to be concerned? Terrified? Amused? Apathetic? Nauseous? Your guess is as good as mine.

Multi-Part Article: Night of Horror (1981)

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