Jul 8, 2014
New Tech Thingy Will Protect You From the #Tyranny of Google Glass
Google Glass is the super-obnoxious new wearable technology that privacy advocates claim will turn America into the kind of dystopian panopticon envisioned by George Orwell, or Judas Priest, take your pick. Google Glass is ugly, it is dumb, and now, thank sky-god, there’s a way for normies like us to fight back.
Berlin artist Julian Oliver has written a simple program called Glasshole.sh that detects any Glass device attempting to connect to a Wi-Fi network […] When it detects Glass, it uses the program Aircrack-NG to impersonate the network and send a “deauthorization” command, cutting the headset’s Wi-Fi connection.
Does this new anti-Glass technology scare us a little, because it sounds eerily similar to the way in which the Cylons wiped out the Colonial fleet in the “Battlestar Galactica” mini-series? Yes, but that is only further evidence of the wisdom of Commander Adama. We would gladly put all Google Glass users out the airlock, but noooo, y’all have got a fancy-pants Eighth Amendment ’round these parts.
Does this new anti-Glass technology raise more legitimate questions, questions like, “Hey, what right do you have to power off my personal electronic device?” Again, yes, but also shut up and let us have this. We would like to give a hearty fk yeah to Berlin artist Julian Oliver, so here is a linky to Oliver’s site, if you would like to try out his awesome thingy for yourself.
Oliver’s technology represents a true breakthrough in the field of anti-Glass tactics, which up to this point had consisted of just ripping the stupid things off wearers’ faces. This tactic has been embraced by both the Department of Homeland Security and unidentified anarcho-punks in San Francisco, so Glass hate is one of the very few instances in which you can say “Both sides do it!” and not get laughed out of polite company.
HappyNiceTimePeople’s official policy on Google Glass wearers is that they should self-deport stop wearing stupid Google Glass all the time, seriously, do you see how stupid you look? Do you really need a wearable heads-up display for your daily life? Here is a list of the people who need wearable heads-up displays for their daily lives:
- Fighter pilots
And that is the entire list! Nobody else needs Google Glass, and if you insist on doing a first-person recordings of your exxxtreme lifestyle, there’s already GoPro for that.
So here’s to you, Berlin artist Julian Oliver! If you come up with any other cool surveillance-jamming ideas, please forward them to:
Chancellor Angela Merkel
Willy-Brandt-Straße 1, 10557
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