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New Jewish Wonder Woman Will Fight Crime, Control Banks and Media

New Jewish Wonder Woman Will Fight Crime, Control Banks and Media

Comic book people who actually pay attention to these things are all a-flutter today with the news that some person we are entirely unfamiliar with named Gal Gadot will play Wonder Woman in the new Batman vs. Superman vs. Alien vs. Predator vs. The Timelords movie. Time to get excited! Unless you are not a comic book person, in which case meh. Also, too, director Zack Snyder will probably just spend like 95% of the time lovingly focusing on a half-naked Superman.

henry cavill hairy chest

NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

So, Gal Gadot is very attractive, on the reals:

"Fast & Furious 6" Los Angeles Premiere - Arrivals

Her main qualifications for the role seem to be that she will kick your ass ten ways from sideways because Israeli Army sports trainer. Also, too, because Miss Israel 2004. Also also 2007 Maxim Women of the Israeli Defense Forces picture. Oh, and she played a Mossad agent in the Fast and Furious movies. So basically, Gal Gadot is your new wonder woman because the Jews control the media and the banks. Enjoy your oppression, Jesus-loving comic book fans!

[Los Angeles Times]

[Gadot photo by PR Photos]

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  • JMP

    Gal Gadot? I’ve been waiting for her.

  • Vecchiojohn

    I for one welcome our new She-Hebraic overlord. All hale Queen Gal!

  • andreamd

    Pretty sure Lynda Carter’s husband is Jewish- I think

  • BMW

    So they cast an actress from the “Fast and Furious” movies as Wonder Woman? At least we don’t have to worry about them casting Paul Walker as Aquaman.

  • Farb

    Come on! Everybud knows that Jesus got the magical powers but goes about disguised as a mild mannered ex-carpenter rabbi sort of guy, but when no one is looking — except acolytes — skips across the waves, gushes bread and fish, gives Satan shit, heals the unhealthy, raises the previously deaders, all while coming up with those very cool proverbs. What’s more is that he donned his dusty robe a coupla millennia before Superthis and Superthat and Megasomethingelse, and all the Hebrew, Islami, Secularistical and sketchily drawn but dynamically presented cartoonish characters we normally think of us the Fantastic group, or Team whathave you, or them other aggregations of protectors of libertinism and freedom. Yet, even Jesus is not the archetype, prototype, genotype and all that. Nope. He was preceded by the storied critters of the Great Oralistical Tranditions, followed by the enscribed characters of early tablet writing and papyrus, and the Gilgameshes of the earlier world. None of this is new!

    • mtn_philosoph

      I heard that during an earlier era there was this superhero named David who did some pretty awesome stuff…

      • Farb

        But Goliath was a moron. Big, dumb, hulking Goliath never stood a chance against technique. And then there was that wretchedness with his friend and his friend’s wife.

  • Ambignostic

    I wish Zak Snyder was better at what he does, because he keeps trying to do things that sound like such a good idea.