New Book From Game Of Thrones Guy George R.R. Martin! But Not The One You Want.

New Book From Game Of Thrones Guy George R.R. Martin! But Not The One You Want.

Are you a Game of Thrones fan? Not like a fan who watches the teevee show (Sundays at 9 on HBO; recapped here on Mondays), but like a fan who reads the 8 million page books? Yeah, some of us are, too. Except there hasn’t been a new book in the series (officially Song of Ice and Fire)since A Dance with Dragons was released in 2011.

Well, THE WAIT IS OVER – THERE WILL BE A NEW BOOK FROM GEORGE R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R MARTIN! Are you excited! Can you not wait to ignore friends and family as we finally learn what happens next with Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Tyrion, Jon Snow and the rest of the gang?

Well tough shit motherfucker! Book 6 (maybe to be called The Winds of Winter?) in the series is not being released! Instead, Martin is gonna milk the ever-loving shit out of the popularity of Westeros like a damn Lannister gold mine! He is releasing The World of Ice and Fire,described this way on Martin’s website:

This lavishly illustrated volume is a comprehensive history of the Seven Kingdoms, providing vividly constructed accounts of the epic battles, bitter rivalries, and daring rebellions that lead to the events of A Song of Ice and Fire and HBO’s Game of Thrones.

Haha, suckers. Hope its better than Star Wars Episode I.

That’s right, kids. We get a prequel! Not that we asked for the history of Westeros, especially before the series is complete. This would be like Tolkien releasing The Silmarillionafter The Two Towersand before The Return of the King.Not that we would ever compare Martin to Tolkien, which would be like comparing a child banging on pots and pans to John Bonham. Then again, comparing anyone to Tolkien would be similar, so only minor offense intended to Martin.

Anyway, what do we have to look forward to?


Collected here is all the accumulated knowledge, scholarly speculation, and inherited folk tales of maesters and septons, maegi and singers. It is a chronicle which stretches from the Dawn Age to the Age of Heroes; from the Coming of the First Men to the arrival of Aegon the Conqueror; from Aegon’s establishment of the Iron Throne to Robert’s Rebellion and the fall of the Mad King, Aerys II Targaryen, which has set into motion the “present-day” struggles of the Starks, Lannisters, Baratheons, and Targaryens.

Will this satiate fans? Maybe. We have not read it, because we cannot time travel to the future, when it is released in October 2014. Then again, if we could time travel, we would go further ahead so we could read the next damn book in the series. Or to the year 2525 when the series might finally be done.

If you are interested in the book, Martin has put up an excerpt on his site which you can read for free. It seems to be the only thing he is doing that is not monetizing the franchise. How does it sound?

It looks like it will be an interesting read, and hopefully provide some backstory for those of us who enjoy the books. The excerpt contains some details about Aegon’s conquest of Westeros, and it looks like we will get some backstory of the rulers of Westeros before Aegon used his dragons to wrestle control from those who were there before.

Will it be written with the same depth of characters that we have come to expect from the books in The Song of Ice and Fire? From this excerpt, it does not look like it. But maybe this is just a very tiny sliver. Amazon lists the book at 400 pages, so if we are to use this as a stop-gap between the real books, then we can at least hope it satisfies.

And despite our whiny, negative attitude, we will probably read this new book because something is better than nothing.

But it damn well better be good, or we might have to band together and go all Ramsey Snow on Martin’s ass.


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