New Book From Game Of Thrones Guy George R.R. Martin! But Not The One You Want.

New Book From Game Of Thrones Guy George R.R. Martin! But Not The One You Want.

Are you a Game of Thrones fan? Not like a fan who watches the teevee show (Sundays at 9 on HBO; recapped here on Mondays), but like a fan who reads the 8 million page books? Yeah, some of us are, too. Except there hasn’t been a new book in the series (officially Song of Ice and Fire)since A Dance with Dragons was released in 2011.

Well, THE WAIT IS OVER – THERE WILL BE A NEW BOOK FROM GEORGE R.R.R.R.R.R.R.R MARTIN! Are you excited! Can you not wait to ignore friends and family as we finally learn what happens next with Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, Tyrion, Jon Snow and the rest of the gang?

Well tough shit motherfucker! Book 6 (maybe to be called The Winds of Winter?) in the series is not being released! Instead, Martin is gonna milk the ever-loving shit out of the popularity of Westeros like a damn Lannister gold mine! He is releasing The World of Ice and Fire,described this way on Martin’s website:

This lavishly illustrated volume is a comprehensive history of the Seven Kingdoms, providing vividly constructed accounts of the epic battles, bitter rivalries, and daring rebellions that lead to the events of A Song of Ice and Fire and HBO’s Game of Thrones.

Haha, suckers. Hope its better than Star Wars Episode I.

That’s right, kids. We get a prequel! Not that we asked for the history of Westeros, especially before the series is complete. This would be like Tolkien releasing The Silmarillionafter The Two Towersand before The Return of the King.Not that we would ever compare Martin to Tolkien, which would be like comparing a child banging on pots and pans to John Bonham. Then again, comparing anyone to Tolkien would be similar, so only minor offense intended to Martin.

Anyway, what do we have to look forward to?

Collected here is all the accumulated knowledge, scholarly speculation, and inherited folk tales of maesters and septons, maegi and singers. It is a chronicle which stretches from the Dawn Age to the Age of Heroes; from the Coming of the First Men to the arrival of Aegon the Conqueror; from Aegon’s establishment of the Iron Throne to Robert’s Rebellion and the fall of the Mad King, Aerys II Targaryen, which has set into motion the “present-day” struggles of the Starks, Lannisters, Baratheons, and Targaryens.

Will this satiate fans? Maybe. We have not read it, because we cannot time travel to the future, when it is released in October 2014. Then again, if we could time travel, we would go further ahead so we could read the next damn book in the series. Or to the year 2525 when the series might finally be done.

If you are interested in the book, Martin has put up an excerpt on his site which you can read for free. It seems to be the only thing he is doing that is not monetizing the franchise. How does it sound?

It looks like it will be an interesting read, and hopefully provide some backstory for those of us who enjoy the books. The excerpt contains some details about Aegon’s conquest of Westeros, and it looks like we will get some backstory of the rulers of Westeros before Aegon used his dragons to wrestle control from those who were there before.

Will it be written with the same depth of characters that we have come to expect from the books in The Song of Ice and Fire? From this excerpt, it does not look like it. But maybe this is just a very tiny sliver. Amazon lists the book at 400 pages, so if we are to use this as a stop-gap between the real books, then we can at least hope it satisfies.

And despite our whiny, negative attitude, we will probably read this new book because something is better than nothing.

But it damn well better be good, or we might have to band together and go all Ramsey Snow on Martin’s ass.


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  • merl1

    This series is going to drag out just like the Wheel of Time. The author died before the series was completed. He died right after book 10 or so. 20 fucking years after the first one was published. His replacement writer milked another 3 books out of his final outline. By the time a new one comes out, you almost have to re-read the whole series. You kind of don’t give a crap by then but you still have to finish the whole thing.

    • tomamitai

      I first learned of the “Song Of Ice And Fire” series when I came across an end display at Barnes & Noble of paperback sets of what I thought was a completed tetralogy. I saw nothing on the inside or outside covers to indicate it was a series in progress, and didn’t realise what it was until I was about half way through book four. If I’d known it wasn’t done yet, or how long he was going to take writing it, I wouldn’t have started reading the things.Now that I have started on it, I feel the same as you do about wanting to finish reading the damn thing, and I’m also worried that he won’t live long enough to complete it. On top of that, I read on his blog that he’s working on other projects and flying around the god damned world attending every con that’ll have him as a guest! It’s almost like he wants to leave it incomplete, so his heirs will have a captive audience for generations to come.

      • merl1

        I have the same feeling. I learned my lesson with Wheel of Time and also thought it was a complete set. My stepson laughed at me about Wheel of Time, he told me he always waits for all of the books to be written before he starts the first one.

  • WA Bishop

    The “R.R.” stands for “Really? Really?!”

  • ryp

    Tolkien is pretty tedious, but I don’t know if I’d equate him with a child banging on cookware, although I couldn’t finish Ring of the Hobbits or whatever it’s called no matter how much weed I smoked, so maybe it is that bad.

    • BMW

      I think Martin was the cookware banger in that analogy.

      • ryp

        Yes, I got that, but it should have been the other way around.

  • bobbert

    Back before he discovered Westeros, Martin was a tolerable writer of science fiction. One of his stories, “A Song for Lya”, got reprinted in several collections, and one of those was edited by Isaac Asimov. Asimov was a wordy bastard, so he always wrote a page or two of introduction (mostly about himself) for each story he edited. In this particular collection (which was some kind of “Best of 19xx”), he mostly riffed on how irritated he was that other authors had won awards he should have gotten (as far as I can tell, this was actually joking).So, Ike ragged on George “Railroad” Martin, as he did on R.A. Lafferty, for being older guys that were stealing his awards — it wasn’t bad enough that the younger writers were upstaging him.Asimov’s rotational speed must be approaching c. As far as I know, nobody has ever tried to make a movie out of the Foundation.

    • Jaime Oria

      What’s hilarious is seeing the new re-issues of Martin’s backlist with cover art making them look exactly like the Westeros books even though many of them are straight up sf – and much of it is perfectly fine, if that’s your thing. It’s just such a transparent attempt to pull in the rubes…

  • Jaime Oria

    I’m sure you could stack any 3 or 4 volume set of Michael Moorcock’s linked sword and sorcery novels from the 1970s and GRRMartin’s individual books would still overtop them in page or word count. Poul Anderson’s Three Hearts and Three Lions is barely 200 pages long! I thought the pulp days of writers being paid a penny a word had long since passed.

  • Arcturus

    I’ve heard Martin has to rely on fans ( those tinier names) to keep his fantasy ramblings straight. Now I’ve read the first 5 books, was eagerly waiting for the 6th, but I am rapidly losing interest in the corpulent old bastard. I think the Cliffs notes for book 6 and book 7 (“A Trunkful of Tediousness”) would work fine for me.

  • Nitpick: you don’t milk gold mines, you milk cows.

  • Brendan_M

    Was the racism or the simplistic morality usually seen in religion/children’s books the clincher for preferring Tolkein, DDM?