Never Too Young to Die (1986) (part 2 of 10)

We immediately cut back to the dam we saw in the opening shots, where a figure is climbing down a ladder to some underground tunnels. He’s wearing a three-piece suit, which, as everyone knows, is ideal spelunking wear. He turns around and we see it’s Lance’s dad, Drew Stargrove (played by George Lazenby). Drew meets up with two other guys in khaki jumpsuits and tells them he wants to get started soon, because he has “an appointment” (presumably, Lance’s gymnastics competition). One of the guys, who has a bright orange beard and bright orange hair, tosses Drew a khaki jumpsuit.

We cut to Lance getting ready for his competition, and we can’t help but notice that the official Dunbar logo on the team jersies has changed since yesterday. The coach, continuing the unhealthy fixation witnessed in the opening credits, comes up to ask Lance if he’s feeling a “bit tight”. Lance insists he’s fine, and prepares to take the floor.

Never Too Young to Die (1986) (part 2 of 10)

Orange Beard Guy and Drew.

Back at the dam, Orange Beard Guy asks Drew what their assignment is, in the one and only reference in the entire movie to the fact that Drew is probably supposed to be working for the U.S. government here. Drew informs Orange Beard Guy that their job today is to “baby-sit the Department of Water and Power”, whatever the heck that means. Orange Beard Guy remarks, “Someone have a leaky toilet?” to which Drew wrily quips, “No, we’re gonna flush out Ragnar.” This is the type of dialogue that passes for humor in this movie, so get used to it. Orange Beard Guy comments that he doesn’t understand how this affects national security, or at least that’s how I interpret the statement “I don’t understand how this threatens Apple Pie and Mother.”

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Multi-Part Article: Never Too Young to Die (1986)

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