Never Too Young to Die (1986) (part 10 of 10)

Danja appears overhead in the helicopter, aiming her rifle at Ragnar. She tells the pilot that she can’t get a shot on him, even though she’s maybe ten or twenty feet away. Of course, despite this close proximity, we don’t hear a helicopter when we cut back to Lance and Ragnar, or so much as see one hair on their heads being blown out of place by the gusts coming off its blades.

Lance is just about to be knocked off the edge of the dam when he comes up with an inspired ploy. “I just wanted to tell you,” he begins in mock sincerity, “how beautiful you are.” At this, Ragnar drops his pipe and takes Lance’s face in his hands. Much to our horror, Ragnar begins to uncoil his huge tongue and extend it towards Lance’s mouth. (Why do I suddenly feel like I’m watching The Uninvited?) Before it gets there, Lance grabs Ragnar’s hand and plunges The Finger into Ragnar’s own neck. This causes Ragnar to scream and instantly go limp, and then Lance lifts up his legs to put Ragnar in a headlock [!] and pull him over the edge. We watch as Rangar turns into a really cheap mannequin as he bounces down the cliff and hits the water.

Never Too Young to Die (1986) (part 10 of 10)

“Please tell me this means I don’t have to be in the sequel!”

Lance jumps up to safety, and runs to Ragnar’s computer. The readout says there’s still 30 seconds left on the three-minute countdown that was started almost six minutes ago. Lance says to himself, “Cliff, where are you when I need you?” It’s true, isn’t it? You never really know how much you need a Wacky Asian Sidekick until he’s not around. Lance yells up to Danja in the helicopter that he can’t shut it off. In response, she tosses down the Fire Blazer, or Fire Blaster, or whatever they’re calling it in this scene.

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Multi-Part Article: Never Too Young to Die (1986)

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