Nov 14, 2018
Neil Young Would Like To Sell You An Expensive Portable Music Player That Is Very Last Century
Do you love music? Do you want it in a small package so you have music with you all the time on the bus or the stairmaster? Is it 1999 when these things weren’t possible and no one had an iPod? No, it is now and Neil Young is selling you a $400 music player, sucker.
Neil Young plans to release his $400 PonoPlayer portable audio player and the proprietary music download store that goes with it at SXSW, via a Kickstarter campaign set to begin on March 15, according to a press release making the rounds. The device will play PonoMusic files, with audio elements designed by Ayre Acoustics, after a deal to do the same with Meridian apparently fell through.
In some cases, these PonoMusic files have reportedly been remastered for this new format. It’s not clear how much each song download will cost, but it could be more than Amazon and iTunes charge, due to the extra work involved with creating these new downloadable audio files. The player will not support streaming music.
It does tons less than an iPod or an iPhone, since it will only play one type of audio file and will not stream music at you when you are too hungover to figure out which of your own songs will listen to. But it will cost tons more! As will each song, probably! On the other hand, it is shaped like a triangle! GET HYPED.
Look, we know that there are Those People that are super audiophiles and they are made sad by the ostensibly tinny music coming from their smartphone, but that is like 12 people, one of whom you always have to make sure to avoid at parties because he’s always trying to get you to admire his $10,000 turntable and talking about the amp you need to buy.
Are these people really enough to sustain an entire audio player ecosystem, or will most of us just suck it up and listen to Spotify on our phones? Spotify wins, although it doesn’t come with Neil Young Mystic Mumbo Jumbo.
In September 2013, Young updated fans on his Facebook page, promising an early 2014 launch for PonoMusic. “The simplest way to describe what we’ve accomplished is that we’ve liberated the music of the artist from the digital file and restored it to its original artistic quality – as it was in the studio,” he wrote.
“Hearing Pono for the first time is like that first blast of daylight when you leave a movie theatre on a sun-filled day.”
Man, we have been looking for a way to liberate the artist from the digital file forfuckingever, but we usually solved it just by getting high, which is what we thought Neil Young did also too.
This thing Kickstarts on March 15, so best start saving your drug money now so you can buy it.