National Geographic, why hast thou forsaken me?

Pimp Jesus in Paradise

What the fuck, National Geographic? We count on you to get our fix of wildebeests getting ambushed by crocodiles, not messiahs getting ambushed by Judases, much less Bill O’Reilly’s fever dream of Christ getting crucified to stick it to the Marxist Muslim Kenyan Roman emperor usurper.

And yet Nat Geo (as the kids call it) is producing a three-hour TV movie of Killing Jesus.


Granted, we are having fun imagining a British narrator in hushed golf-announcer tones saying, “Behold the majestic Jew in his natural habitat, frolicking amid the fig trees, unaware that a pack of his most dangerous predators… the Romans… are creeping through the garden, preparing to strike.”

Something like that we might actually watch. (Get in on, Funny or Die.)

Instead, we expect to see Christ giving his famous “Blessed are the job creators” speech, throwing the money changers out of his off-shore Phoenician tax haven, and sacrificing his life for the forgiveness of tax penalties on Israelis who refused Roman health insurance.

Previous reports said Killing Jesus was going to be a four-hour, two-night miniseries, but National Geographic has quietly scaled back its ambitions, probably because Obama’s atheist Muslim thugs got to them. Where are WND exclusive Drudge sirens on this one?! Outrage!!

National Geographic Channel > Fox Cable Networks (gotta be a coincidence, right?) > 21st Century Fox (Rupert Murdoch, Chairman & CEO)

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