Apr 16, 2017
Nashville Recap: Scarlett's Collapse Is Everyone's Business
When last we saw Nashville several weeks ago (because ABC will not stop screwing with the schedule), Scarlett had a complete breakdown thanks to her awful mom and was hiding under the piano during her opening set for Juliette.
Spoiler alert: if you do not care about the Scarlett collapse, this is not the episode for you, because this is 100,000% all Scarlett collapse, all the time.
We open right where we left off, with Scarlett being rushed offstage and to the hospital and her mom crying ostentatious crocodile tears about it. Mom, we really don’t like you.
Deacon and Rayna are waiting for the plane to touch down, and Deacon is itching for a fight with Rayna about sending Scarlett out on tour. Deacon, we are Team Rayna on this one. She didn’t push Scarlett out there AND Scarlett is a grown damn woman and stop treating her like such a delicate flower, Deacon.
Gunnar is taking Zoey to see the house he just impulse bought with his royalties money.
She looks completely freaked out, especially because it is totally veiled pressure about getting her to move in with him. Zoey’s heading in to take a look when her phone rings and it’s Avery telling her all about Scarlett. Are Scarlett and Zoey even still friends? We can’t remember.
Here’s Will singing one of his macho country songs because Will is straight goddammit so straight straight as an arrow straight. They’ve got Will moving into something much more country-rock than country, and we’re not really sure it works for Will.
His voice, stripped of its yee-haw, is just sort of a standard Dude Voice, and the arrangement does him no favors either, with a weird noodly organ bit.
We don’t have to listen to the song for long, though, because here is Layla with a reality teevee show producer in tow, because there is apparently going to be a Will and Layla reality show. We cannot think of anything worse for poor Will, but it is his own damn fault for faking the straight all the way into engagement with Layla.
At the airport, a shuddering wide-eyed Scarlett is deplaned while Scarlett’s mother follows along yelling at Deacon about how he can’t just step in. Mom also picks a fight with Rayna, who has arranged for a hospital stay for Scarlett. This also somehow turns into a “who is helping Scarlett more” fight between Juliette and Rayna.
Listen, show. Juliette-Rayna tension is so last season. No, really. That storyline is played out. They’ve joined forces and record labels and it just isn’t believable — even in nighttime soap land — that they’d choose to keep working with each other so closely while at the same time being such snippy balls of pettiness all the time.
Layla’s walking Will through the exciting reality teevee opportunity. Will is not super excited, but the teevee lady is giving him a hard sell and telling him all about how many magazine covers he will get and how if he doesn’t hop to it, someone else will get the opportunity and oh Christ they’re really going to do this show-within-a-show thing, aren’t they?
Meanwhile back at the hospital, Scarlett’s mom, Beverly, has buttonholed the doctor to explain that this isn’t “exhaustion” like other fancy stars suffer from. Nuh-uh, says Beverly. It was for sure a psychotic breakdown, just like both Beverly and her mom, Scarlett’s grandmother, had. Super helpful there, mom.
Rayna’s at the hospital too. You know we love Rayna to the ends of the Earth, but why is she here? She’s Scarlett’s sort-of-boss, being the head of the label, but we’ve no idea why that means she has to hang about and direct Scarlett’s care. It does, however, set up an opportunity for Terrible Mom to yell at Rayna about how she can’t fix her own family and also too since Maddie is Deacon’s daughter she is Terrible Mom’s niece and Rayna has been keeping her from them.
Yes, because getting Maddie close to you is what should have driven Rayna’s life choices, Terrible Mom. Rayna tells her to step off, but you know it is not the last of Bad Mom.
Juliette is ranting about how she was just the taxi service for Scarlett and we are already bored. Poor Manager Glenn is trying to talk radio airplay while Juliette tantrums. Juliette thinks Scarlett should talk to her because Juliette is the expert on crazy moms. That’s not a bad point, actually.
When Scarlett wakes up in the hospital, the first person she has to see is Mom and she loses it all over again, which isn’t surprising since Mom’s first words are “you had a breakdown, just like I had.” Get this woman out of here.
Rayna is trying to ask Deacon if Scarlett’s been drinking or taking pills, which Deacon, still hoping for that fight, takes to mean that Rayna is accusing good old alcoholic Deacon of being the person leading Scarlett astray. Nope, says Deacon. It was probably Liam, the producer Rayna hooked Scarlett up with. Again, people, Scarlett IS A GROWN PERSON.
And here comes Scarlett now, in the obligatory hospital robe, running out the door of the clinic with her mother chasing her. Wait, wasn’t Scarlett actually restrained to the bed in the last scene with Mom? So she was losing it and then they un-restrained her and let her run outside? What the hell kind of clinic is this?
Scarlett doesn’t want to be in the hospital and really doesn’t want to be around Mom. She explains to Rayna that she wasn’t drinking too much and she only takes her Mother’s Little Helpers every once in a while and get her out of this place. Rayna talks her into staying just 24 hours. Bad Mom lunges at her, but Deacon holds her back, thank god.
Deacon comes to visit Scarlett in her hospital room, and Scarlett is doing the cry-talk thing where you can barely understand her, but the gist of it is that she doesn’t belong there, and to the extent that she IS there, it’s because of Bad Mom. Probably the last straw, sure, but Scarlett, you were cruising for a hospital stay for a long time.
Zoey is very sad that she can’t be there to help Scarlett and it is all about Zoey worrying about how Scarlett will feel about Zoey. Also, Zoey’s solution is to try to get Gunnar to go with her, and when Gunnar won’t do it, Zoey tells him he’s being a cold bastard. Um, no, he’s just being the guy that dated Scarlett and it ended tough and bad and then he started dating her best friend and yeah, probably not the best guy to visit.
Juliette is visiting, though, and that is not going well.
Scarlett does not believe for one second that Juliette is worried about her, because Juliette made her go onstage when she didn’t want to and Juliette whisked her across the country heavily sedated after the onstage breakdown. OK, possible fair point on the first part, but what was Juliette supposed to do post-breakdown? Just let her hang out under the piano onstage? Tell her to catch her own ride home?
Part of the problem here seems to be that Scarlett is either unaware of what exactly happened or is just pretending she doesn’t remember, as she describes what happened as momentarily freezing onstage. Kiddo, you climbed under the piano and hid. She tosses Juliette out, and Juliette leaves right as Rayna is walking down the hallway with the doctor so that there can be more Juliette-Rayna tension.
Bad Mom has gone to stay with Deacon except all she is doing is talking about she should be there at the hospital and also too how Deacon is an unfair jerk who is keeping Scarlett from her while also ignoring Scarlett. We think that’s the gist of it. Bad Mom wants to have it out with Deacon about how he got to leave and go be famous, but she did not because she got pregnant with Scarlett except she was not pregnant, Deacon reminds her, when he left so also too ipso facto Bad Mom could have left when he did. Translation: stop blaming Scarlett for your life, you terrible woman.
Except now is the time for the show to pivot to making you feel some level of sympathy for Bad Mom, who is bad because her parents were bad, who is bad because Deacon left her alone with the bad parents, and so on. We get it, we really do, but this is getting complicated and maudlin even for a nighttime soap and also WHERE IS THE SINGING THERE IS ALMOST NO SINGING ANYMORE.
Gunnar has a meeting with Jeff Fordham and they’re golfing, which means that Gunnar put on a hat and a cardigan, while Jeff rocks a golf sweater. Gunnar looks like he’s going to go sing a Bruno Mars song and Jeff just looks like a jerk.
Jeff’s trying to get Gunnar to come join him at Edgehill’s new publishing division by talking to him all about how many cool number one songwriting hits he will get if he goes to Edgehill. Jeff is also dumb enough to call Scarlett a “loony” and Gunnar throws the clubs and walks. Good for you, Gunnar.
We’re back to Deacon and Beverly and Deacon is giving a speech about how now they will join hands and move forward and care for Scarlett together. Oh, and Scarlett has finally watched the video of what happened onstage, and yeah, not a momentary freeze. Right then, Zoey walks in and Scarlett does more of the cry-talking and Zoey hugs her. We’re not sad to see Zoey and Scarlett be friends again. Scarlett needs friends.
Juliette is still making what happened to Scarlett all about Juliette. She wants Avery to give her absolution over forcing Scarlett out onstage. Juliette apologizes, complete with ripping her shirt open and kissing him.
Avery is less than interested, which just sparks a fight with Juliette, and he just leaves.
Rayna’s doing a radio interview and all anyone wants to know about is Maddie being Deacon’s daughter and if she’s not going to talk about Maddie, radio dude wants to talk about Scarlett. He’s trying to bait her into talking about Scarlett and exhaustion and he’s just generally snide about it, but Rayna won’t bite. Once they’re off mike, radio dude is even sleazier, basically telling Rayna that she should write a song about the whole thing, or Scarlett should, or something? Either way, he’s being hateful.
Zoey’s taking Scarlett for a walk around the clinic, and they run into Bad Mom, who we are going to have to start calling by name if she’s not going anywhere. Beverly wants Scarlett to know that this runs in the family and everything is going to be ok. We’re not sure those two statements go together.
Will’s at some sort of Will-based party, and Jeff’s following him around. Jeff does not think the reality show is a good idea, and Will is dumb enough to try to push him to say why. Jeff tells him he wants to maintain “plausible deniability” and leaves it at that.
Juliette has dropped by Avery’s place to apologize, but uh-oh no Avery, because Avery is sleeping at the hospital in a chair in Scarlett’s room. This might not have been the worst idea in the world if Avery had actually told Juliette. Scarlett declares that she will never love anyone as much as she loved Avery, and he tells her she has a permanent piece of his heart and of course Juliette is listening at the door.
Gunnar’s watching the tape of Scarlett freaking out and has notepads everywhere… is HE going to write a song about this? Yep, he sure is.
We were asking for music, but COME ON. Also, Gunnar’s singing weirdly out of his range. The soaring falsetto is not a good thing for Gunnar, and the lyrics are all about how her talent isn’t hers to throw away. People, that is part of the goddamn problem. Scarlett is not some angelic repository of songs. She is an actual factual human being and maybe people should treat her as such.
So Scarlett has a clean bill of health and is not a drug addict. Wait, what? She was gobbling pills like candy and washing them down with liquor for pretty much this whole season. While that may not technically be an addiction, that is not something that mental health practitioners will just overlook.
Rayna has come to talk to Scarlett, and helps Scarlett decide that she doesn’t actually want the big country star tour lifestyle, and Rayna releases her from her contract. Rayna is the best, y’all.
Juliette is getting dressed up FANCY to go out without Avery. That should go well.
Scarlett’s checking herself out but Mom really wants to talk about how Scarlett needs to stay in the hospital just like Mom needed to stay in the hospital. Mom wants to move there and take care of her, and Scarlett, with the most spine she has ever shown, hugs her and tells her to go home.
We’re at another fancy party where Juliette is drinking alone and Will is chatting about how awesome his reality show is going to be. Yeah, that. Jeff Fordham’s at the party and Will makes sure to ostentatiously kiss Layla in front of him. Also, Gunnar blows him off. We’d give anything to see someone punch Jeff out.
Now Jeff has slithered over to Juliette to talk about how he really hates Nashville and OH FUCK YOU SHOW NO YOU ARE NOT HAVING JULIETTE FUCK JEFF FORDHAM. Show, you are the absolute worst. Do they go home or to a hotel? Oh no they do not. They just duck out of the party for a few minutes and then come back being as obvious as possible about adjusting their clothing. GAHHHHH.
Rayna is singing at what we assume is a rehearsal before she goes out on tour, and we do not hate it at all. However, our standards are getting lower for the show since there is so little music. Maybe there will be more music soon, because by letting Scarlett out of her contract, Rayna’s fledgling label is now going to live or die based on the success of Rayna’s record.
Maybe we won’t have to wait 3 weeks to find out what happens next.