Aug 6, 2017
Nashville Recap: The Songs Are Getting Better But The Sexytime Is Getting Worse
Last week’s Nashville had a thinly-veiled Rick Rubin type come on to try to fix Juliette’s career, but Juliette’s career does not need Rick Rubin-style fixing, we think. Let’s see what happens this week.
Oh Luke Wheeler is back, and cooking breakfast for Rayna. We’d sort of forgotten about Luke Wheeler because we just do not see the point of Luke Wheeler. Rayna’s manager Buck just straight up walks into Rayna’s place as Luke Wheeler starts the cheesy “I am rubbing your back, baby, see how attentive I am?” routine. Nobody knocks in Nashville. So weird.
Buck’s got news that the check the label wrote for Scarlett’s studio time bounced. Tandy is Rayna’s accountant, so something is fucked up.
Meanwhile, Juliette is getting SUPER courted by all the labels, and her house is now just a mess of gift boxes from everyone trying to lure her aboard since Edgehill dropped her.
However, none of these labels are Nashville labels, so they’d likely make Juliette just do a pop record, which she is not down with. Will she sign with Rayna’s label, hmmmm?
Deacon is heading out on tour, and thankfully Megan is not going with, because we still find her kinda boring, much like Luke Wheeler. She expresses mild worry that Deacon’s eye will be roving towards groupies and mouth will be roving towards alcohol when he’s out on the road, but it’s probably more likely that the show will fling Megan and Teddy together than have another Deacon relapse.
The hot new trio of Zoey, Avery, and Gunnar has already found practice space and started booking gigs, but Gunnar is behaving a wee bit like it is Gunnar and backup band instead. We predict tension!
Rayna heads over to Tandy’s to talk about the fact that checks have been bouncing all over town. Tandy managed gazillions of dollars for Lamar, but seems utterly befuddled by how to pay for things for Rayna’s label. Also, she looks hella drunk.
Rayna tells her to get it together and leaves. Yeah, Tandy. Get it together!
Will’s having a big party! Will has a big hit single on the radio! Will is going to fuck Layla! Oh, Will. Layla is just back from LA, but she didn’t have a very successful trip visiting whatever American Idol is called in the “Nashville” universe. Jeff — Edgehill Jeff — is not talking to Layla either. Apparently the shine is off.
Avery bails on rehearsal with the superfriends to have sexytime with Juliette. Gunnar is sadmad about this. TENSION.
Scarlett and Liam music time. The song is lovely, with spare accompaniment from Liam on organ, but it’s sorta wrecked by the fact that they’re sitting next to each other on the bench making sexytime faces at each other while singing. Just put Scarlett in a studio and have her sing for a whole episode. Wouldn’t we all like that best of all?
Scarlett and Luke drop by and of course with the no-knock no-door policy of Nashville, they walk in on Liam-Scarlett sexytime. Rayna is not happy about it and decides to take Scarlett to the woodshed about it, but in a friendly way because she is Rayna. LISTEN TO RAYNA, SCARLETT.
Layla is still having a super sad that Jeff won’t return her calls. She’s not getting the attention she wants since Will got Brent thrown out of of the Nashville Edgehill orbit. She wants to call Brent, but Will, unsurprisingly, dissuades her from that. Oh, Will.
Deacon has been on the road approximately 10 minutes and has already encountered people trying to give him alcohol and his hotel room is filled with revelers. Also, he already fucked up his wrist on the first night of the tour. Also too, Megan is preoccupied with work and doesn’t want to comfort him. This tour is going to go well.
Rayna’s having label trouble, in large part because money is tight since her new label doesn’t really have any artists making bank yet. Luke offers to give her money, which she declines. That is a nice thing Luke, but we’re still bored by you.
Avery and Juliette are out at dinner, and oh hello here is Jeff from Edgehill sending over an incredibly expensive bottle of champagne because now Juliette is a hot commodity. She takes the bottle of champagne, marches it on over to Jeff’s table, and does some mysterious yet cool-ass thing where she doesn’t actually open the bottle, but just slams it down on his table so the cork pops and champagne foams everywhere. Jeff is not happy.
We are happy, however, because there is nothing redeeming about Jeff.
Oh Teddy. Teddy is sad, and is hanging out in his office staring at his wedding ring and drinking alone until Megan shows up. He’s figured out that Peggy lied to him about the pregnancy and that she’d miscarried before they even got married. He drowns his wedding ring in a whiskey glass, which is kind of a baller way to toss your wedding ring.
Deacon is at an AA meeting. We are super-focusing on Deacon’s struggle not to drink on this tour, which means Deacon is going to drink on this tour, right? Outside the meeting, he runs into Ruth Bennett, who was a singer but has now retired from the business and runs a bakery. Are you Deacon’s new love interest, Ruth Bennett?
Jeff is meeting with Juliette. JULIETTE DO NOT TALK TO JEFF HE IS A DICK. Jeff tells her that coming back to Edgehill gets her a deal for Avery as well AND her own imprint. Damn.
Will’s on a radio show, doing an acoustic version of “What If I Was Willing” and holy crap does it sound way better without the big shiny country-pop production burying it. He’s also taking some call-in questions and he figures out a way to answer every question with some promo for Layla. Oh, Will. This is very nice and very very confused on your part.
Deacon is chatting with new old friend Ruth, who is also sober. They are friendly in that portentous and flirty way that evening soap operas use to signify oncoming romance. Meanwhile, Teddy and Megan are bonding over their losses by hanging out in Megan’s car. There’s also tender hand-holding. Are they 12?
Avery seems less than thrilled about the whole producing for Juliette’s imprint on Edgehill thing, and decides it is time to take a stand about how he feels sad that Juliette pays for everything. Call the wahhhmmbulance for Avery. You’re dating a megastar, dude. She’s going to have more coin.
Rayna swings by to talk to Liam about his sexytiming Scarlett and how Scarlett is basically a fragile kid. Scarlett’s in love with her, and now Rayna’s artist and label is in jeopardy. Rayna fires him to ensure that the heartbreak comes now, not later, for Scarlett. Whoa.
Jeff calls Will to tell him that he’s done promoting Layla and Edgehill is going to throw all their weight behind Will. Time for tender moment between Will and Layla, which would be great except for the whole Will is gay and lying to himself and her. Oh, Will.
Juliette signs off on her contract with Edgehill, but she’s gotten rid of all the Avery-related stuff so that Avery doesn’t feel emasculated by her or something.
Liam gives Scarlett the brushoff and heads to Tokyo. Who will produce Scarlett’s record now??
Tandy has pulled it together, sort of, and comes by to tell Rayna that she’s straightened out the books for now but they’re running out of cash. Oh, also too the band Rayna was courting, Cadillac Three, signed with another label. Rayna’s convinced that this is because everyone knew that she was bouncing checks. She tries to fire her sister but maybe sort of doesn’t? Who knows.
Oh, Avery and Gunnar are in a pissing match while getting ready for their gig. Avery feels like Gunnar is taking over and Gunnar feels like Avery is lazy because he’s got the mighty power of Juliette behind him now and doesn’t need to worry. Of course this results in fisticuffs.
Now Ruth and Deacon are hanging out in her car and they, too, are having tender hand-holding time. Seriously, show, these are grown people. When did we switch over to teenage courtship rituals? She asks him to stay the night post-show, but he declines because of Megan, who he then tries to call but she isn’t answering her phone because SHE IS FUCKING TEDDY IN THE CAR. How does Teddy continue to get play, seriously?
Time for Avery-Zoey-Gunnar to play. They look and sound great, and are doing my favorite songs thus far this season, but I’m afraid they’ll probably have to go away because of the Avery-Gunnar tension. T-Bone Burnett, come back and force this band to stay together.
Post car sex regret time for Teddy and Megan. He gets out of the car without a word, because that’s how you do.
Luke would like to have sexytime with Rayna but he is kinda freaked out by the GIANT PAINTINGS she has of her children that are basically watching them in bed.
Yeah, we’d be freaked out by that too. Wait, where ARE the children? They’re not with Teddy, because he is having sexytime with Megan, and they’re not with Rayna. Who on earth do they farm out the kids to?
Luke re-ups his offer to give Rayna some money, noting that she no longer has a producer and she only has one artist. The discussion is interrupted by sexytime.
Speaking of sexytime, Layla and Will are not having terribly successful sexytime BECAUSE OF HOW HE LIKES DUDES, DUH. Oh, also too we find out that Layla was a virgin before Will. Oh great. She tries to get him to open up about what he would like in bed and he tells her he wants a beer and the remote. Oh, Will.
Juliette comes by to tell Avery that she tore up the Edgehill contract to which we say YESSSSSSSS.
Deacon’s home from his tour, which appears to have been like two shows? He carts Megan off to bed and the clock is ticking on this relationship isn’t it?
Oh hey Juliette comes to Rayna to see if she can be on Rayna’s label to which we say YASSSSSSS. CALLED IT. We are so smart. Tune in next week when we will be all smart again.