Jul 3, 2019
Morning Sideboob: Shailene Woodley Suns Her Girl Parts on the Reg
Shailene’s Unique Take on Life
Shailene Woodley is the new reigning queen of crazy celeb quotes. Think of her as a more loosey-goosey version of Jennifer Lawrence. Like if Jennifer were raised on a co-op farming commune. The girl’s got a lot of opinions about a lot of out-there stuff.
1. She eats clay.
I first heard about the benefits of eating clay from a taxi driver. He was African and was saying that, where he’s from, the women eat clay when they’re pregnant. Seriously—ask your taxi drivers where they are from and about their customs. You will learn a lot. So, I’ve discovered that clay is great for you because your body doesn’t absorb it, and it apparently provides a negative charge, so it bonds to negative isotopes.
2. She’s a maker/gatherer.
I gather my own spring water from mountains every month. I go to a farm to get my food. I make everything from my own toothpaste to my own body lotions and face oils. I make my own medicines; I don’t get those from doctors. I make my own cheese and forage wild foods and identify wild plants. It’s an entire lifestyle. It’s appealing to my soul.
3. She makes sure all body parts get their vitamins. All of them.
Another thing I like to do is give my vagina a little vitamin D. [Laughs] I was reading an article written by an herbalist I studied about yeast infections and other genital issues. She said there’s nothing better than vitamin D. If you’re feeling depleted, go in the sun for an hour and see how much energy you get. Or, if you live in a place that has heavy winters, when the sun finally comes out, spread your legs and get some sunshine. [Laughs]
Someone’s not going to be laughing if someone gets a sunburn somewhere.
Don’t F With Courtney Love
So Courtney Love thinking she found the missing Malaysian plane was a bit crazy, but we’d never let her know we thought so.
The Internet had a field day with her shaky-handed drawings on a photo of the ocean.
But comedian Daniel Tosh took it a step too far for Ms. Love.
So she fought back.
C-L with the knockout!
Lorde Encourages Fans to Kiss Protesters
While the public is trying to figure out if it should picket ailing hatemonger Fred Phelps’ funeral, which is likely around the corner, or take the high road, Lorde is instructing her fans to welcome his church members with a kiss.
Westboro Baptist Church is planning to protest her Kansas City, Missouri, show tomorrow, stating, “New Zealand came forth with a young lassie that doesn’t have enough sense to put in a thimble. Now the world has elevated her to the status of an idol. Then the world began to weigh in.”
We’re not sure if Lorde understood that any better than we did, but she seemed to get a chuckle out of it and tweeted:
hahaha omg just found out westboro baptist church are going to picket my show in kansas city… everyone wear rainbow clothing to that show… everyone try to kiss church members who are same sex as you they will so love it christmas comin early in kansas city…
We also learned that Lorde has never been to an NBA game. She went to see the Chicago Bulls play the Oklahoma Thunder in Chicago and wrote about her experience on Twitter like it was her first trip to another planet.
i am at a bulls game this is so intense how does everyone in this room not have a stress ulcer / i am such an outsider to the world of sport but i feel very proud of all playing / the cheerleaders are doing synchronized movements to small pieces of drum-based instrumental music / in the break they rolled out a red carpet on the court and a man did some tricks with his dog / they just filmed me (surprise) and my keyboardist spontaneously kissed my drummer while the cameras were on us (surprise x2) / so loving chicago
What exactly do cheerleaders do in New Zealand?
Stupid Steve-O Tricks
It goes without saying that any activities you see Steve-O do, are not safe to re-create. The jokester has abused his body in so many different ways, from stapling his scrotum to the side of his leg to swallowing and then vomiting up a goldfish, and so much more. His latest stunt involved jumping off a bridge at the San Antonio River Walk…and the water he landed in was only 4 feet deep, a fact he realized after he took the plunge.
What a jackass.
[Shailene Woodley photo by PR Photos]