Jul 15, 2014
Morning Sideboob: Portugal Breaks Our Filthy American Hearts
Good morning to you, Monday monsters! We’ve got all the silly little bits of “news” to entertain you and to numb the horrendous pain that comes with the start of a work week. Grab some soothing herbal tea and maybe a Xanax (prescription only, of course!) and settle in for a frothy romp around this nutty pop culture landscape of ours. And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!
Portugal, land of fish and cork, destroyed American hopes and dreams in the sport I’m determined to call “foreignball.”
Sting is determined that his six children should not be trustafarians.
Pearl Jam played some of “Let It Go” during “Daughter” in Milan, which is either scary or adorable.
United States soccer star Hope Solo was arrested for beating up her sister and nephew.
Gorgeous little Ellen Page got iced coffee in West Hollywood, so stop the presses RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
And here is Caren Brooks, a rich person who runs her family’s foundation and goes to events. She is probably a lovely soul who does good work in this world, but mostly we are currently interested in her perfect bewbs, so here they are.