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Morning Sideboob: Lindsay Lohan Gets Real, Bobbi Kristina Puts a Ring on It, Biebs Is The Egg Man, and Pam Anderson Hopes The Second Time’s a Charm

Lindsay Lohan Sics Cameras on Herself

Lindsay Lohan Probation Hearing at the Airport Branch Courthouse in Los Angeles on June 23, 2011

This is a decree: Clear your Sunday nights! We repeat: Clear your Sunday nights! Invite your besties over, pop some kernels, and secure a good vantage point in front of the flat-screen because Lindsay Lohan’s long-awaited reality show, um, we mean “documentary series,” is set to premiere March 9 on OWN. This kind of spice isn’t deserving of the DVR treatment. You gotta take this in in real time. Sailing into the waters ruled by Cher, Madonna, and Britney on a sea of Red Bull and vodka, the show is simply called Lindsay and will follow the troubled ginger as she picks up the pieces of her life post-rehab and tries (once more) to kickstart her acting career. Remember when she used to act? But now we’ll just be treated to unvarnished Lindsay.

Cameras follow Lindsay as she returns to New York, reunites with friends and family, and attempts to build a new life. As she works to stay on track amid the demands (and pitfalls) of fame, she opens up as never before, discussing everything from her emotional recovery process to her exhausting run-ins with the paparazzi.

Let’s look at Lindsay’s scorecard here a moment. Girl’s racked up two DUIs, six arrests, seven car accidents, 14 days in jail, and six trips to rehab. We’ve heard the “I’m really ready to turn my life around” speech from Lindsay infinite times.

Will this time be for reals? Tune in and judge for yourself.

[indiewire]

Bobbi Kristina Keeps It All in the Family

"Sparkle" Los Angeles Premiere - Arrivals

And Bobbi will always (hopefully, maybe, for the meantime) love Nick. Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the late Whitney Houston and Bobbi Brown, dropped a Twitter bomb and announced that she and Nick Gordon said “I do” in a secret marriage ceremony. That’s all fine and dandy except for the fact that Nick was raised alongside Bobbi when Whitney kinda sorta adopted him after his biological father couldn’t take care of him. So they grew up as pseudo brother and sister. Everyone together now, “Ewwwwwww.”

In this new age of wedding announcements, there was a heartfelt Twitter announcement, complete with tacky bling.

bk

Back in July, Bobbi Kristina wrote this Facebook post for all the haters:

“I’m tired of hearing people say ‘eww your engaged to your brother or if Whitney was still alive would we be together or would she approve of this. Let me clear up something, we aren’t even real brother and sister nor is he my adoptive brother. My mom never adopted him. In fact, mommy was the one who even said that she knew that we were going to start dating.”

Well, that clears that up!

[Los Angeles Times]

Justin Bieber Is the Egg-Throwing Next-Door Neighbor From Hell

Q102's Jingle Ball 2012 Presented by Xfinity at The Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia - December 05, 2012

Now we’ve heard the tales of countless child stars desperately trying to bust out of the cutesy personas of their wonder years, but Justin Bieber seems to be taking the task a tad too far. We get it—you’re not the dork with the bowl cut whose voice hasn’t dropped.

You’re a man, baby. But it’s time to start acting like one. The list of hooliganisms Justin has immersed himself in in the last year is a long one. From making concert goers wait ridiculous amounts of time, to spray painting questionable art, relieving himself wherever he chooses, speeding through his high-end residential neighborhood, and throwing loud parties, the Biebs has quickly become an out of control little monster.

And now here’s the latest saga. His next door neighbor in Calabasas is reporting that Justin — who he’s had run-ins with in the past — egged his house and he had the footage to prove it!

“It was about 7:30 p.m. and I was in my house upstairs with my daughter. We began to hear something hitting the house, like rocks and things crashing into the window. We went to our outside balcony and saw [Justin] standing in my front yard, ripping eggs at my house. I screamed at him, he yelled back at me, said, ‘Yeah I got another one for you,’ and threw more eggs. Then I called the sheriff. Obviously my daughter was very frightened having eggs thrown at her. It was unprovoked as I have not seen the kid in months, so I have no idea what prompted him to do this.”

A highlight of the video is when the daughter calls the police and says, “Hi, I’d like to place an assault.” We were waiting for her to say, “And can we get some extra soy sauce with that order?” Ah, life in Calabasas.

[E! Online]

Pamela Anderson Marries Her Own Sloppy Seconds

Cirque du Soleil's "One Night for One Drop" Clean Water Fundraiser for World Water Day 2013 - Arrivals

It’s been a minute since Pamela Anderson’s love life has gone off the rails on a crazy train. She kept us entertained in days gone by with her on-again, off-again, sex-tape-producing marriage to Tommy Lee. Then there was a short stint at the altar with Kid Rock. Up next was Rick Salomon (of 1 Night In Paris, his sex tape with Paris Hilton, fame) in 2007 for a whole two months. There have been whispers for a while that Pam and Rick were back together and giving it another college try. The speculation was confirmed by the newly shorn bombshell when she recently showed up at Sean Penn’s Help Haiti Gala in L.A. with a rock on her finger.

Pamela seems to have a good sense of humor about it all, as evidenced by her appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

“You keep going back to the same guys,” DeGeneres said. “You’re married, then you go back.”

“It’s recycling!” Anderson said. “No, I’m very happy. We’re happy. He’s a great guy.”

Congrats, Pamela, and thanks for coming back to us with all the sideboob we’ve come to expect from you.

[Photos by PR Photos]

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  • BMW

    “Hi, I’d like to place an assault” is my new stolen catchphrase.

  • Mahousu

    There’s a joke to be made about Pamela Anderson and recycling, but fortunately I am too well-mannered to make it.