Morning Sideboob: Lady Gaga Will Not Be Performing in Doritos Vending Machine

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Permit Denied for Lady Gaga’s Latest Stunt
She’s tested the boundaries of health codes in the past with her rotting meat dress, but officials are drawing the line when it comes to Doritos. Lady Gaga was planning to perform at the SXSW music fest in Austin next month from inside a giant Doritos vending machine, but The Man has put a stop to it, citing something about public safety.

The City of Austin has refused Lady Gaga a permit to play in a giant Doritos vending machine at this year’s SXSW. The singer had been set to perform at the Texas festival’s Doritos Stage, which is mocked up to look like a huge, snack-dispensing machine, but according to Stereogum the performance has been scrapped due to concerns over public safety. Don Pitts of Austin’s Music And Entertainment division said: “Our conclusion was based primarily on public safety concerns… We look at the size and capacity of the location covered by the permit being sought and how it fits with the anticipated attendance, based on event capacity and promotion. At the end of the day, it’s a parking lot.” He also said that Gaga could still perform at this year’s SXSW, but only if she could find a location with “the necessary permanent infrastructure.

We don’t get it. The only person who may be at risk is Gaga, and we’re all OK with that. She lived in an egg for a while, so she must be pretty good at holding her breath.

The thing is, Gaga’s performance was a secret, so Don Pitts, with his little press release, went and ruined the surprise. He better watch his back. Those freaky Little Monsters don’t mess around. Four years as a drama nerd will make you cut a bitch.

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Amanda Bynes Regrets Murder Comment
You know when you wake up from a bender and have to deal with the repercussions of your asinine behavior? We don’t know about this personally, but some of our best friends go on benders. Imagine coming off of a year-long bender and attempting to put the pieces of your life back together. And then add to that the fact that your meltdown was fueled by mental illness and you’re a public figure. Welcome to Amanda Bynes’ f’d-up life.

After finally getting the help she needed, Amanda is slowly starting to emerge from the fog. She’s spending time with family, enrolled in fashion school, and removing tattoos she got while not thinking straight. The problem she’s facing now is realizing some of the bizarre rants she went on during her high-flying trip…stuff she doesn’t remember saying, like:

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Whoopsie.

Now coherent, Amanda is mortified by that tweet in particular.

Sources directly connected with Amanda tell TMZ … she is in the territory of being her old self again. They say the fact that the Drake comment “horrifies her” shows she again has a sense of the difference between right and wrong.

Don’t worry, Amanda, we…our friends have said worse. Much worse.

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Seth Rogen Visits the Senate Subcommittee
Leave it to the self-described lazy, self-involved, generally self-medicated manchild to take a subject as depressing as Alzheimer’s and be able to educate others while still making them laugh. While speaking in front of the Senate Subcommittee on the subject, Seth dropped some great one-liners.

First I should answer the question many of you are asking. Yes, I’m aware this has nothing to do with the legalization of marijuana. […]

I came here today for a few reasons. One, I’m a huge ‘House of Cards’ fan. I just marathoned the whole thing. Two, people need more help. I’ve personally witnessed the massive amount of financial strain this disease causes. And if the American people ever decide to reject genitalia-driven comedy, I will no longer be able to afford it.

On a serious note, the issue is one close to Seth since his wife’s mother — a teacher for 35 years — was diagnosed with the disease at 55. Together with his wife and some friends, Seth started Hilarity for Charity, an org that raises money to help families struggling with Alzheimer’s and fund cutting-edge research. Check him out here, stoner laugh and all.

David Byrne Covers “Just a Friend”

Just because it’s cool, we’ve gotta run Talking Heads’ singer David Byrnes’ version of Biz Markie’s 1989 hit “Just a Friend.” The cover isn’t actually true to the original since they’re not singing off-key.

Here’s the original:

And David’s version:

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