Morning Sideboob: Justin’s Deposition: Yep, He’s As Arrogant As You Think

Morning Sideboob: Justin's Deposition: Yep, He's As Arrogant As You Think

Justin Bieber’s Taped Deposition Released

This is the period of Justin’s life when he will start to spend more time in “legal settings” than on a stage or in a recording studio. Right now. This is where it begins. (See: Lindsay Lohan.)

TMZ has video of JB’s deposition from last week in the lawsuit filed by a photographer claiming one of Justin’s bodyguards kicked his ass. The videos are categorized by mood swings such as arrogant, lovesick, and contentious. They forgot lazy, ugly, lazy, and disrespectful.

Get some popcorn. Seriously, we’ll wait…

Arrogant:

Lovesick:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hSQAec7eio

Contentious:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxSeWoBs-zQ

Dumb:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m4b4PrrLYg

“I think that I was detrimental to my own career.”

No truer words have ever been spoken.

Shakira’s BF Puts the Kibosh on Sexy Videos

Screen Shot 2014-03-10 at 4.06.40 PM

When Colombian vixen Shakira came on the scene, she’d shake her hips whenever and wherever she pleased. But this ain’t the aughts and now Shakira has a bebe and a bit of a jealous bebe daddy in soccer player Gerard Pique.

She told Billboard magazine: “He’s very territorial. Since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women. It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to. It’s out of the question, which I like, by the way. I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.”

For example, the video below is A-OK with Gerard. Official stamp of approval.

Shocking.

And with one overbearing wave of a wand, Shakira and Gerard’s relationship is iron-clad, cuz, you know, it’s just a woman. Women don’t leave men for women, right? Especially not if that woman is Rihanna, si?

Jessica Simpson Lost a Bunch of Weight and is Ready to Triple-Kiss Girls

Screen Shot 2014-03-10 at 4.22.51 PM

Attention! Attention everyone: Jessica Simpson has reached her goal weight thanks to her time as Weight Watchers’ spokesperson. And what is the magic number? Well, that’s none of your damn business. Now look away.

On Sunday, Jessica attended her friend Kathryn Sykora’s baby shower in L.A., along with actress Odette Annable and singer Stephenie Pearson. Bypassing the standard boring shower games like guessing the chocolate bar in the diaper and scooping cotton balls into a bowl while blindfolded, this lot went for something a little racier. Here’s a shot from the Guess What I Had for Lunch competition.

Screen Shot 2014-03-10 at 4.22.19 PM

Hey, you, up top with the pointed devil’s tongue, you’ve got a real sloppy form to you. Get it together.

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  • SullivanSt

    Congratulations Biebs, you managed to be even more of an asshole than the lawyer who was deposing you, and that was not easy.

    • rebecca

      that lawyer was so bad at his lawjob! that one question was hilariously dumb. But jesus, that kid is bringing out my favorite memory scrapbook, “My 19 Year Old And Why I Want To Murder Him.”

  • $73376667

    Thanks to Bieber and this Pique guy we’ve gone from sideboob to dudebro.We should all thank Jessica Simpson for redeeming this post. With tongue.

  • Annie Towne

    It’s a bit scary to me that Shakira would give away so much power to her partner. That sort of controlling behavior (his) is #1 on the list of behaviors that abusive men exhibit. Not liking it at all.

  • jangoodell

    Sometime cigars are really just cigars, really….