Morning Sideboob: Frank Ocean Returns Cash Advance to Chipotle

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Frank Ocean Cuts Chipotle a $212,500 Check

Artists are a prickly bunch. They exhibit strange behavior, make dramatic statements, and expect to get their way at every turn. Take Frank Ocean, for example. Chipotle hired the rapper to sing a remake of “Pure Imagination” from the classic film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. All Frank had to do was sing the three-and-a-half-minute song and he’d be cashing a check for $425,000! Well, he must not even get out of bed for at least half a mil, cuz he walked away from the gig after finding out the burrito place was going to pimp its new video game app at the end of the spot.

A company advertising one of its products in a commercial they footed the bill for? Weird, we know.

Well, the commercial still happened, with Fiona Apple stepping in for Frank. Good going, Chipotle, Fiona’s known to be a real peach to deal with.

The thing is, Chipotle advanced Frank $212,500—and they want their money back! So the chain filed suit last Friday.

Annoyed, Frank whipped out his checkbook, wrote out a check that included “Fuck You” on the memo line, and posted this image to his Tumblr page.

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According to Gawker, Chipotle reports, “We’ve seen the photo, but haven’t received the check.”

Can’t Chipotle just take a photo of the check with their smartphone and deposit that shit?

Elisabeth Moss Really Hated Being Married to Fred Armisen

Morning Sideboob: Frank Ocean Returns Cash Advance to Chipotle

You know that ex of yours who makes you grit your teeth when you think of him or her? No matter how long it’s been, they still leave you with a vomitous taste in your mouth. That’s who Fred Armisen is for “Mad Men” star Elisabeth Moss. She detests the guy sincerely and loves to tell other people about it.

The doomed duo divorced three years ago. And they were only married for 12 months. But it still stings. When they first split, Elisabeth had this to say about the funnyman:

One of the greatest things I heard someone say about him is, ‘He’s so great at doing impersonations. But the greatest impersonation he does is that of a normal person.

She’s got more where that came from.

Looking back, I feel like I was really young and at the time I didn’t think that I was that young. It was extremely traumatic and awful and horrible. At the same time, it turned out for the best. I’m glad that I’m not there. I’m glad that it didn’t happen when I was 50. I’m glad I didn’t have kids. And I got that out of the way. Hopefully. Like, that’s probably not going to happen again.

Like, we hope not. Now move on.

Shailene Woodley Doesn’t Have a Cell Phone

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Shailene Woodley, star of the upcoming sure-to-be-a-box-office smash Divergent is 23 and she doesn’t own a cell phone. We’re not sure if we know any 8-year-olds without cell phones.

“I’m not a big technology person. I don’t even have a smartphone. I don’t even have a cell phone! And if I were to have one, it would be a flip phone.”

Like a pink RAZR? (Remember those?)

“[There’s] a bigger lack of camaraderie and community than there’s ever been,” she continued. “Since I got rid of my phone, [I’m] having to pull over and be like, ‘Hey, buddy — do you know how to get here?’ I’m talking to people more than I’ve ever talked to in my life because I no longer have that crutch. The more you get away from all the technological buzz, the more freedom you have.”

If you happen to see Shailene broken down on the side of the freeway and attempting to use a Call Box (remember those?), be a pal and call 911 for her.

Chelsea Handler Tells Piers Morgan to Bugger Off

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If you’re going to have Chelsea Handler on your talk show, you’d better pay her some attention—even when you cut to commercial. The comedienne stopped by “Piers Morgan Live,” which is dying a slow death, and thought Piers was throwing her some shade. So Chelsea decided to let him know…on live television.

Way to kick him when he’s down, Chelsea.

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  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Fiona Apple is a weird chick- very insecure (at least back when her first hit album came out). Elisabeth Moss almost managed some bona fide sideboob- too much overall though. Shailene Woodley (whoever the hell she is) has a point about personal gadgets- not too bad for someone who looks about 16 years old. I’m no fan of Chelsea Handler, but anyone who tells that pretentious douche bag Piers Morgan to fuck off gets a couple points in my book…

  • MrBlifil

    We all use personal digital assistants to assure us that we’re not as alone as we suspect we may be. If you’re 23, been modeling since the age of 4, done movies with Clooney, and are on the poster of a franchise feature you don’t need to make friends. You have plenty. It’s probably a strangely Leave it to Beaver (no pun intended) existence where you just have friends who physically come over, or you go visit them, unannounced and casual, verbally sharing life experiences and achieving proper mirroring from your peers.

  • Annie Towne

    Does this mean Fred Armison is a Scientologist? Elisabeth Moss is (I just found out), which has me a bit confused, because she seems so intelligent. It’s hard to believe that intelligent people can believe that crazy shit, but maybe she hasn’t reached the level where they tell her all about Xenu so she thinks that’s been made up by the press or something? Those people really bewilder me.