Morning Sideboob: Miley Cyrus Warned You, People

Morning Sideboob: Miley Cyrus Warned You, People
Miley’s Bangerz Tour Too Racy?
If you take your 9-year-old daughter to see Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz tour, you might want to go back to square one and read What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It seems parents are indeed taking their young children to see the singer and then acting all shocked when she’s half-naked, giving faux blow-jobs to ex-presidents, and dancing around with little people dressed as joints. Really? What did you expect? We’re waaaaay past the Hannah Montana days, people.

Australian website NineMSN started a rumor that the tour is going to be cancelled as a result of one too many parents complaining that they had to march their children, hands over their eyes, out of the show. But Live Nation told E! News it’s all a bunch of bull.

There is no truth whatsoever to any stories or rumors of venues pulling out of the Bangerz Tour. Miley has created a tour that’s big, spectacular, entertaining, and everything you would expect from Miley Cyrus. Reviews have been amazing and most important, fans are loving the show and having a great time.

As for her part, Miley is loving the attention.

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[E! News]

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Gwyneth Paltrow Cheating Scandal
Did she or didn’t she? We may never know the truth, but this story has Lifetime movie written all over it, starring Tori Spelling, obvs. This is a clusterfuck of plot points, so pay attention. Last year, Vanity Fair was set to run some big feature on Miss Paltrow that would expose the fact that she was cheating on husband Chris Martin with Elle MacPherson’s husband, Jeff Soffer. After Gwyneth caught wind of it and shook her boney, Goop-covered finger at the mag, VF editor Graydon Carter not only pulled the piece but then wrote a 1,600-word explanation/apology on why he did so, tail between his legs and all. He wrote:

We’ll save our gunpowder for bigger stories. And so, sorry as we are to disappoint all those many people out there, for the time being we’ll leave it to another publication to roll out the “epic bombshells” surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s a story I might read. I just don’t want to publish it.

“The power of Hollywood!”

Fast-forward to this week when the anonymous secret-sharing app Whisper revealed that Gwyneth is not cheating with Mr. MacPherson but with Hollywood lawyer Kevin Yorn.

You still there?

Whisper’s editor-in-chief Neetzan Zimmerman told Defamer:

I can’t reveal their identity for obvious reasons, but it’s a person with extremely close ties to Gwyneth who came to us directly after Graydon Carter wrote that missive about why VF walked away from the Paltrow profile last year. I have no reason to suspect they’re lying about this, and if anyone would know the truth, this person would.

Gwyneth has, of course, released a statement that the allegations are “categorically untrue.”

So she’s shopping around for some strange. Or maybe she’s not. But she probably is. Allegedly. But we’re not sure.

[Defamer]

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Chris Brown Continues to Pay for His Sins
It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Chris Brown. We were starting to think he’d passed the miscreant torch to The Biebs. But no. The guy must love the inside of a courtroom. This time he’s being sued by Parker Isaac Adams, a Maryland resident who claims he was minding his own business and on his way to meet a friend at the W Hotel in Washington, D.C. At the same time, Chris was leaving the hotel on his way to his tour bus. One of Parker’s female friends asked the singer for a photo, which he agreed to. But when Parker tried to step in and get in the picture with them, Rihanna’s ex thought he got too close for comfort and allegedly said, “I’m not down with that gay shit. I feel like boxing.” Parker says Chris and his bodyguard Christopher Hollosy then punched him in the face, fracturing his nose. Parker is also suing the bodyguard for $1.5 million. Chris and his bodyguard were arrested in October following the incident.

Adams said in a telephone interview Thursday that he is seeking to recover money for his medical bills which include visits to a plastic surgeon and a breathing specialist. The lawsuit seeks compensatory damages of $1 million and punitive damages of $500,000 from each man. A lawyer for Adams, John C. Hayes Jr., said his client is largely seeking money for “pain and suffering” and that he is continuing to receive medical care for his injuries.

Since Chris was still on probation stemming from his beatdown of Rihanna at the time of this latest arrest, it may play into his criminal trial, which starts April 17. Will he slither his way out of this one as well? Who are we kidding. Of course he will.

[ABC News]

Olsen Family War Waged
Uh-oh, she’s gone and done it now. Mary-Kate and Ashley’s singly born other sister went and picked sides. While on “Watch What Happens Live” on Wednesday, Elizabeth Olsen told host Andy Cohen that if she had to choose a favorite twin, it would be Ashley.

Vacation or not, who forgets their sister’s birthday? Stinkin’-rich bitch.

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  • glasspusher

    Hmm.

  • MissDill

    Don’t know Gwyneth or anything about her life or values. I do know Coldplay is so damn boring I couldn’t be married to that Martin guy and have to listen to that musical blancmange and pretend to not only like it, but find it exciting. His music is as colorless as…as… Gwyneth without makeup.

  • Joseph

    Is M. Cyrus supposed o be sexy? even if she had a wll plaque from the officers and Men of the Aircraft Career Nimitz thanking her for a nice weekend, she would still lack sufficient experience.