Mar 19, 2014
Morning Sideboob: Chris Brown Prison Bound
Chris Brown Gets Locked Up
Chris Brown is in trouble again. We know what you’re thinking.
He was arrested on Friday after being bounced from the Malibu rehab center he’s been living in for the last four months. A judge ordered him to stay in the facility through April 28, until his next court appearance for beating up a photo seeker in Washington, D.C. But as we all know by now, Chris likes to do what Chris likes to do, so he broke the rules at the rehab, was kicked out, and got taken to jail.
We’re not sure which rules he broke, but Chris might be incarcerated for up to a month.
Maybe he’ll receive a postcard from Rihanna who is currently being wined and dined in Europe by Drake.
“Having a great time. So glad you’re not here.”
Miley Tattoos Her Inner Lip
The Bangerz Tour marches on, which means Miley is running wild throughout this fine country of ours. Her latest method to kill boredom and gain attention is via dressing up like a panting hot dog…
…getting a tattoo of the sad kitty emoji on the inside of her bottom lip…
…and yelling at security.
You can’t take a picture at a concert? What the fuck is that? Fuck. Someone just got in trouble for taking a picture of the fucking concert. That’s why you guys paid $1,000 a fucking ticket so you can take a fucking picture of me. Fuck.
Oh, and don’t waste your breath wondering why Miley would tattoo something so lame on her lip. The ink from inner lip tattoos usually fades within a few years, so it’ll just look like a festering canker sore in no time!
Lady Gaga Gets Vomited On
Since her initial idea of performing at South by Southwest in a giant Doritos vending machine fell through, Lady Gaga stepped it up a notch and had someone throw up on her while she played the song “Swine.”
The woman unleashing the green liquid is none other than Millie Brown, a professional vomit painter.
Here’s what an average day at the office looks like for Millie:
We’d like to see Ms. Millie’s business cards. What types of exemptions does she get to claim on her taxes? So many questions.
Sideboob of the day:
As the drumbeat of “Mad Men” promotions begin, let’s take a moment to remember what is really important about “Mad Men:” Christina Hendricks and those boobs.