Jul 1, 2019
Morning Sideboob: Vegan Does a Beyonce Good
Beyonce Would Rather Go Naked, Then Wear Fur
Beyonce must’ve liked the results she got after going vegan for 22 days back in December with hubby Jay-Z. There certainly was no shortage of backside pride going on during her Grammy performance. She’s once again going with a plant-based diet again and told the world about it via Instagram by sharing her gluten-free, dairy-free snack:
So why is Beyoncé going vegan for 22 days, as opposed to 21 or 23? Hubby Jay Z explained on his Life + Times blog before challenge no. 1 that “psychologists have said it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. On the 22nd day, you’ve found the way.”
We have a tidbit of advice, though, Queen B: You may want to cool it on the mink when you frequent any and all vegan joints. Just a thought. Call us crazy, but we think vegans might frown on that kind of behavior. If you recall, the last time around, Sasha Fierce sashayed into Native Foods in L.A. for a vegan meal wearing a fur-lined jacket.
…the singer was sporting a $4,800 Christopher Kane wool-blend parka with a real fur collar, which, in strictest vegan terms is a double faux pas. The couple reportedly dined on a marinated kale salad, Indian curried lentils and corn tacos with chipotle butternut squash, before enjoying vegan chocolate truffles for dessert.
While the vegheads may have let Bey slide the first time, if she hits repeat on that shit, she may find herself looking into a perfect storm of red paint.
Billy Joel Slights Madonna
You know when your gramps is trying to seem with it and cool by making reference to some pop culture event that is so past its expiration date, you barely remember it happened? You laugh, pat him on the back, then tell him not to leave the house without pants again. That’s kinda what Billy Joel is reminding us of right now.
Billy threw some decades-old shade Madge’s way at his Madison Square Garden show this week. We know everyone loves to make fun of her, but you gotta come up with something new, guys. Billy boy was criticizing her vocal ability. Really? First of all, we didn’t even know this guy was still performing concerts. Madison Square Garden?! Isn’t he just a serial bad driver who runs over everything in New York City? And second, do people still make fun of Madonna as a singer? Is that still a thing? Slam her for her idiotic Instagram hashtags or any other number of missteps…but she’s never purported to be the greatest of singers.
In between songs, Billy paused to take a puff of a vocal spray that he uses to soothe his voice and help him sing. He told the crowd:
I saw Madonna use this once…it didn’t help her much.
Not like Madonna cares. She’s spending her time grinding on young stars, hoping their youthful exuberance will rub off on her…or secretly plotting to drink their blood.
Red Hot Chili Peppers Are a Joke
The Chili Peppers were pretty amazing back in the day. Songs like “True Men Don’t Kill Coyotes” and “Knock Me Down” showed real grit and edge. But then at some point, singer Anthony Kiedis just gave up and adopted his now-signature lazy, marble-mouthed, scat/sing style that lost us. And his lyrics are just bonkers. He makes those up on the fly, right? Like he shows up to the studio with a blank piece of paper, steps up to the mic, and wings it.
Comedian Jon Daly is on board with our thinking. He not only wrote and performed the hilarious RHCP parody song “Abracadabralifornia” for the Comedy Bang Bang podcast, but he set up the fake website RHCP2014.com where you can download the tune for free. Here is a sampling of the lyrics:
I drink an Alabama slammer with your sexy-ass grandma…bing-a-bong-a-bong-a-Burbank…Gle-gle-gle-gle-Glendale
Download the song or check out the whole podcast here.
How ’bout you do this, Anthony and Flea: let your upcoming Super Bowl haftime gig be your swan song? Then hang up your scatting shoes before Weird Al comes back for more.
[Beyonce photo by PR Photos]